Three view points on relationships inspired me last week, they all have the same common theme and are encouraging too. They remind me that my old view point on relationships was love, love, love. Love is all you need. Love and romance. I used to believe you needed a guy, needed.

Even now though my favourite movies are romantic comedies they just lift me up! When people have been asking me lately whether joking or serious ‘How is your love life?’  my reply ‘Love is all around!’ and ‘Who are you with now?’ I just reply, ‘No one, I just love everyone’ (I mean this in a compassionate caring way obviously).

But there are things that come before love that are crucial to everything about a relationship, these will probably show up in art work soon. The keys things that come before love are: respect and trust. Then love can blossom and bloom and be something wonderful. It helps to have shared values etc but the first steps are respect and trust. Not just for some minimal time while your getting to know each other, always.

It’s a small thing but it can be a BIG difference in the quality of your life, though really and truly it may only come to light through experience. Until your everything becomes – I’ve given them my power, you may not see it. Someone who is experiencing this is on a much larger scale is singer Mary J Blidge who is going through a divorce. Though I don’t listen to much pop and R n B anymore, her songs have always rung true in some way since I was a teenager, Enough Cryin especially. Her album Strength of a woman and particularly the song Indestructible tells a person how valuable they are, to be real and find a love you deserve.

‘You gotta love like you never been hurt, to find a love that you deserve’ – Indestructible, Mary J Blidge

I first heard Behind the Netra at Vaisakhi in London and her spoken word poem ‘padlock men’ and ‘fingertips’ answers what is love really well. If you know what love was, isn’t and could be then it will relate, beautifully said.

Guru Jagat had some interesting points in the chapter on relationships in Invisible living that stood out too, about there being more chemistry when a person is not like you, like opposites attract. To notice how the other person stands, if they are steady, they are ready. She goes back and forth with female and male perspectives, it’s a good read.

‘As women, we directly create the future, literally, through our own bodies in childbirth. So when we are graceful and strong, compassionate and clear, we can create the energy of relationships that are hot, kind, and fulfilling to all parties involved’. – Guru Jagat