Sometimes, actually a lot lately, I find my mind being drawn to love. Thinking about it, feeling it and they are mixed views, it can get quiet confusing, then I read Gurbani and it adds to the confusion even more but there is always a nugget of wisdom there to carry me through my day.
I was trying to work out if I had these views because I grew up in the Western world and love relationships are in the house hold on TV (especially soaps, the worst examples), magazines and between friends. Or because I have been in love so I know what it’s like (or at least I thought I did) or you could say in and out of relationships my whole life. This is the only time I’ve ever been alone. Alone isn’t bad when you like the person your alone with, thanks Wayne Dyer (author).
It feels kind of expected within society and groups that you are with another, you get boxed in – married, with someone, possibly gay, alone. I especially noticed this after splitting from Mr, whether it was 2 hours, 2 weeks or 2 months after (a split of almost 10 years together) I was asked – So your on the apps, online dating? No. So who’s your next boyfriend? I don’t know. So are you with anyone yet? No. They look perplexed and puzzled when I continue… I am actually happy in life right now.
That’s how my project Trust and Love in Polaroids came about, I wanted more from me saying I am staying single this whole year 2017. And I am happy, I feel happier each and everyday. Though there are times where that gets tested, when I wonder and what if instead of living in wonder and love and bringing more joy into life.
So I search for videos and thankfully they shed some light, even if it’s just one sentence of English Katha that resonates. Such as these two below, from Nirvair Khalsa Jatha UK (who also has a lot of tracks on Sound Cloud) and Harman Singh at Basics and Beyond Camp.
Both videos really touch my heart and set me back on a path I’m walking on and learning from. Especially the parts in the second video about three different types of love and walking in the dark.
So much can happen in such a short time, so we have to make it count! A mantra I’ve been using this week also, a mixture of Yogi Bhajan and author Byron Katie is – Loving my soul is a full time job. I’m noticing when I’m getting through personal blocks or when they get brought up in conversation such as last night when a girlfriend said ‘You can be happy on your own and have happiness in a relationship too’.
‘We spend part of our life looking for a person who loves us, and if not, we feel incomplete. We believe that person will fill our gaps, needs and desires and thus complete us, which is a great burden for the other person. That is not Love, it is Attachment. If you want true love, start by looking inside yourself and learn: Love, respect and forgive. And when you are filled with that love, radiate the Light outward and share it. That’s true love.’ – Onkartej Khalsa on Instagram