A week ago the word accept kept coming to mind, ‘accept’ as I walked around ‘accept’ as I washed the dishes and so on. This has happened before, with the word ‘thank you’. I like to think of it as an intuitive voice, guiding me in some way.
I’ve been married almost two years and lived in East London the same amount of time, I recently became a mum and all these wonderful blessings can come with immense frustrations. Of building a happy marriage, of missing home (Berkshire, the trees, the grass, the friendly vibe) and the journey of motherhood and forming a new identity now.
I felt ‘accept’ was part of something bigger, it reminded me of something I couldn’t piece together. I typed ‘accept the things you cannot change’ into Google, what came up was the serenity prayer.
Written by American Theologian (someone who studies religion) Reinhold Niebuhr and first used in 1934, it was adopted by churches and Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12 step programs in the 1940s.
I felt I needed to be written down, a reminder every day, I took out my word board, scattered letters all over the floor while our baby napped and wrote it out. I was missing extra G’s T’s O’s fully it reads as:
God grant me the serenity, to accept things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
There are times where I feel claustrophobic and trapped where I’m living, though grateful and happy too. Times where I feel least independent and far from the woman I want to be. Times where I miss my home town though when I’m there I miss London life. I can feel resistance to everything and my micro-movements on goals feel too small to make any difference.
This prayer, like Hukamnama, reminds me not to fall into being a victim or prisoner of my mind, to have the courage and hold faith.
To cultivate an inner knowing that everything is a perfect plan.