In Summer 2019 I compiled all the information I had on Kundalini Yoga, years of experience and personal stories into a product, with a newborn baby by my side, you read more about it in my shop here.
The act of creating comes naturally to me, being supportive and caring does too, it’s in our instincts as a mother and as an artist/writer living a creative life.
What took me by surprise and threw everything out of balance was that although I was doing things, like baby bottles, nappy changes, and learning as a new mum, I still didn’t feel as if I was using my brain enough. My identity had shifted and my habits to that held me together as a person – morning Sadhanas, reading books at leisure, painting in my journal, writing, and movie watching – were thrown out as a non-priority.
And I was tired, so tired. Though I was determined to feel a bit more ‘myself’ while looking out for this beautiful new human being. I read How to make the beast beautiful by Sarah Wilson a very honest story on anxiety while pumping milk into a bottle, before choosing formula. I read Miracle Morning for Parents by Hal Elrod and Linsday McCarthy another great read that made me feel less alone as someone that still wanted to do non-baby-related stuff. My husband would come home to me wailing ‘I’m failing everything’, eventually I had three solid days no outburst of tears and I felt like I’d reached new ground.
At first, I couldn’t write because I was so tired and hormonal, instead, I researched the local area for things to do. I found a Yoga studio I later taught at (and still do each Wednesday).
By now baby was five months, and we were going out together, another great read is Tara Mohr’s Playing Big, she wrote the book while pregnant then finished and released it when her son was a baby. If that wasn’t inspiration I don’t know what is.
I started in very simple steps, I wrote out the title of each chapter on big streams of paper, then filled in the subjects to cover under each one. I also had the idea to include colourful posters in each chapter, more work though fun anyway, I did these posters before I had an iPad with drawing apps on. I would draw them then colour them in with felt pens or watercolours, scan them in the computer, crop and save them then insert them onto a blank page. I did this in NAP TIME, the process was not always smooth, I messed up many sheets of paper and I did it going back and forth between three rooms – somehow.
I used the desktop app Kindle create to put everything together into one file and upload it to Amazon, I did the same sort of process for iBooks too. The great thing about E-Books is they can be put together fairly easily and without an ISBN. It appealed to me to have something out there, as possible passive income that is the same price as a yoga class.
It was the drive of creating something to completion that kept me going from motherhood tasks to creative project to-dos – even now I believe that having small amounts of ‘me’ time often makes me a better mum. To others, this me-time may look like watching TV, laying on the sofa all day, though for me I needed to use the right side of my brain, to learn, to problem-solve – to feel sane and human and whole.
My biggest lesson of being a new mum and creative at the same time was that once I had the E-Book up I felt it was finished when that is where it should have got started again ie. Sharing marketing. I go over this in Part 2 of the post coming soon!
Or head over to the shop and read more about Keep Up with Kundalini Yoga, a guide for beginners E-Book.