At the start of Covid-19, I launched or rather propelled myself into teaching, making an online course, self-promotion on social media – the works. Then as the weeks went by, it dawned on me the only me time I had without any interruptions, a block of 1-2 hours was spent on Facebook, trying to tell people about the wonders of yoga only to have a sinking feeling that the people reading and liking were middle-aged Indian men.
It felt empty, I felt empty. Sure I know others out there are doing the slog of building a business with a little one, though the biggest and best thing that’s come from this time is to allow me to see the full view of what I want in life. The bigger picture and the smaller picture of what I’m doing day to day too to get there.
Nothing matched up or made sense anymore.
I wanted to earn money to save for the future though was earning pennies teaching yoga.
I wanted to go to college though spent no time researching, chasing up applications, or reading the subject.
I learned a toddler needs a lot of attention and takes up a lot of energy and that I only had space for 1 max 2 projects.
So I moved to teach a short meditation class, alas it wasn’t proving very popular and I did offer some free sessions though with teething, hot days and nights, practicing it fell away as I found if I did, that was the only thing I would get done and I had different priorities.
That aside, I feel like I’m learning a lot about myself:
- I set my most important task as applying for jobs in the morning, that way I’ve shown up, made an effort, and can follow up in the afternoons.
- I now do a 20-40 minute workout in the mornings before meditation and I’ve been mixing it up between Kundalini, Pilates, and Power Yoga. I’m enjoying being a student and not getting so attached to one style. Kundalini Yoga connects you to you though it’s easy to get focused on only that style. If anything doing other styles feels more balanced. I’m enjoying going with the flow more! I’m exploring which is best for me to stretch my whole body, align my posture, and raise my heart rate. Kundalini Yoga does do that though, in a 90-minute class, it can be done in less though it can feel rushed.
- I’m keeping track of my finances better with spreadsheets in Excel and the Kakebo method on paper. It teaches me that what we spend can be aligned with our values and goals. I made it very complicated though things have been simpler with the new method and I hope to share soon.
- We’ve had marriage relationship meltdowns throughout Covid-19! Thankfully though talking with friends, family and honest conversations with my partner things have gotten much better. We are more mindful now to talk to each other after work in a separate room to my mother in law, openly talked about counseling so we’re both on the same page that it is a positive effort and have bought a LOT of supplies to go wild swimming together (a hobby away from being parents).
- I’m enjoying my time for me, I’m journaling again, drawing on the iPad and reading again. I’ve even watched a movie in the last month! I feel I need a sense of accomplishment and relaxation each day as a mum and aim for productive nap times. I now see it doesn’t have to be ‘go go go’ and I can enjoy my time, I will teach again though I am completely happy not spending efforts on an empty no show class.
- Lastly, I have enrolled in college (my first choice before the pandemic), there’s still more information to come and it may be online though doable. This will be my number 1 priority and yoga can be an addition to it, not the other way round.
Overall I’m exploring me again, different ways to fill my cup, to still my mind, to be in the present. It’s not easy though sometimes the best things aren’t ever easy.
What are you learning personally or professionally during this time? Let me know in the comments below!
P.S – I’m now 76/90 Days into Mul Mantra on my Mala each morning, not long to go now!