Taranjeet Kaur

Mantra lovin’: Sat Narayan

August 5, 2019

There’s a mantra I love that you can watch about in the video below, it‘s all about going with the flow, though as Leonie Dawson mentioned in a video recently – Go with the flow but swim a little!

The flow I’m referring to is staying in your own flow, when outside yourself things are changing, feel chaotic or not as you envisioned or wanted. Sat Narayan, to be in the true flow of what is happening with acceptance of what it is.

Sat Narayan – True sustainer

Waheguru – indescribable wisdom

Hari Narayan – Creative sustenance

Sat Nam – True Identity

My favourite versions of Sat Narayan are by: Hansu Jot and Carola Zafarana.

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Blog / Yoga

10 Ways to better manage your money

July 31, 2019

I recently did a new podcast, you can listen to True talks with Taran on iTunes and Audio Boom. It’s about money! Yes the thing we use, love to come across and don’t talk about deeply. Instead of writing the script out, you can listen to the show below or read the takeaways that you could turn and reflect on yourself and the resources I’m using right now.

Money isn’t a bad thing to talk about, the wellness industry is hot on abundance! Attracting that abundance! I’m currently 30/40 day into Meditation for prosperity 1 and it’s going well – I haven’t had a windfall of money though I am getting intentional and gaining awareness.

Look at your relationship with money through the years, growing up, in your teens and twenties, to now. We can carry past money beliefs, sayings, habits, and patterns throughout over lives. Just because your mum did x and your dad x, doesn’t mean you have to follow in their pursuit. I mention how being middle class we had enough money though I didn’t reach for further education studies, I knew basic budgeting but nothing more, I was told credit cards are bad even though I’m pretty sure my Mum and Dad had them so in that sense they were talking from experience.
Don’t go from fine to financial abuse as I did. Your money is yours and lending can be overbearing, set a limit and stick to it. Make a FU account you can read about it here, the basic idea is that if your circumstance changes in any way, you’ve been responsible enough to have a plan and provide for yourself. I’m happily married and I have one.
Save for a specific thing and if you can change the name on your accounts to help you do so. My regular accounts have positive statements such as Thank you bills , Supports Me. My savings Holidays, Yoga Teaching and so on.
Follow the 10 percent rule to save and another 10 percent (or however much you can) to donate to charity. I take may take £50 from what I receive towards savings, then £10 goes to charity, £5 of it as direct debit and the other £5 a month saved till June and December to donate somewhere.
Lists! Lists! Just as you write a shopping list in the supermarket, have a shopping list for the month ahead, if it’s not on the list – don’t buy it.
Don’t spend it all the day after payday. This is poor thinking, you want to develop rich thinking. Budget in a set amount for leisure and use it throughout the month.
Tidy up! Having a set place for things means not going out to replace them, I’m now doing this with kids toys and headphones.
Care for and maintain your items so you don’t need to buy another expensive purchase or spend extra, I’m learning to do this with iPad stands, I refreshed my sheepskins in the wash and brushed them new.
Change your shopping habits! I’m getting better at actually buying what I set out to have in my wardrobe then single sale items and also try stuff on. Go for quality over quantity and what brings you joy. Project 33-3 is a great way to do this.
Set up a kids account if you have one, we have a regular account that I can add to and take away from till she’s 13 then it’s hers and savings to open at 18. If your’s are older set an allowance and counter in the spend, save, give. Kids are never too young to learn about money, they absorb habits so easily!

Resources I’m using:

Podcast: Bad with money with Gabby Dunn

Websites: moneysavingexpert.com, thefinancialdiet.com , wrachelwrites.com, coupleofsense.com

Videos: Minority Mindset, Financial Literacy – Melody Hobson at Ted

Books: Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiosaki, Get Rich Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffiled Thomas, A year of less by Cait Flanders

My brothers feature on Episode 12 True Talks with Taran podcast!

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Blog / Lifestyle

Kundalini Yoga FAQs

July 14, 2019

What is Kundalini Yoga and its benefits?

Kundalini Yoga is a technology, a set of techniques that affect consciousness. Kundalini evokes increased awareness and energy, it’s a set of tools that you can use in life, to elevate yourself and others. It’s practical too, especially for those who sit down a lot in their day as you move your body and breathe deeply rather than shallow and constricted.

Babies do all 108 Yoga postures in the womb, it’s incredibly natural.

Kundalini Yoga is like a tune-up for your body, the way you would attend to and service a car.

It creates a better understanding of your true self, brings balance and is there to be experienced.

Why are you wearing all white, and what’s with the turban?

Wearing white clothes expands one’s aura by at least one foot. Your aura is the field of energy around your entire body. Ever experienced just knowing someone has great energy or good vibes? It’s because of their radiance, aura. Wearing white also makes you aware of how and what you do with your body, you become super conscious of your whites staying white.

A turban is a symbol of royalty, a crown. In covering your head you harness the inflow of energy to the tenth gate or crown chakra at the top of the head. In Kundalini Yoga this is to clear thoughts from the mind and focus during yoga and meditation. Covering the temples prevents any movement of the bones of the skull, though tiny, the impact determines our level of calmness or anxiety. Said another way, you feel steady, focused and calm.

It’s not compulsory to cover your head in class, people do so in interesting creative ways. Every turban is unique to the person.

Why is there a sheepskin on top of the yoga mat?

A sheepskin aids in retaining your magnetic field, it’s insulating, a natural warm way to be grounded in practice. Kundalini Yoga involves sitting in meditation and sheepskins give comfort from the soft natural fibers.

Who is this man you mention Yogi Bhajan?

Yogi Bhajan brought Kundalini Yoga from India to the West in 1968. Kundalini used to be a science available to only a rare few but Yogi Bhajan broke down barriers and inspired thousands of people to keep up and live in their excellence.

Yogi Bhajan is very much alive in his teachings, his purpose was to create teachers, not students, to use Yoga techniques to live in a happy, healthy life connected to something higher than ourselves.

What should I wear?

Wear whatever you feel most comfortable in, that allows you to freely move. This may be leggings, joggers or harem pants with a T-Shirt. Just be mindful that they won’t get in the way or need adjusting often. Bare feet is most practical as you have better stability on the mat and you can firmly balance. We have 27,000 nerve endings on our feet to use and enjoy.

What do I bring to class?

For classes taught at The Space East mats are provided, please bring a blanket for relaxation and a cushion if it helps you sitting.

The second location in E7 mats, sheepskins, blankets, and cushions are provided.

For both classes please bring a water bottle for refreshment after class.

Can I eat before class?

Please don’t eat a full meal 3-4 hours before yoga class, if possible eat before or after class, it can’t be helped then eat light. You don’t want to feel full, hungry or dizzy in class.

Why do we tune in and out?

We tune in before every Kundalini Yoga class with the mantra – Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo. This is to open up a channel of learning, to connect to the wisdom within us and externally in our environment.

Mantra: Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo
Translation: The active creative aspect of the Universe I call upon, the divine wisdom I call upon.

This is followed by a protection mantra to help guide us through our practice and remove fear and doubts:
Mantra: Aad Guray Nameh, Jugaad Guray Nameh, Sat Guray Nameh, Siri Guroo Dayvay Nameh
Translation: I bow to the Primal Wisdom, I bow to the Wisdom throughout the ages, I bow to the True Wisdom, I bow to the great, unseen Wisdom.

We close a class with a short song and mantra to seel the energy created in class and bring it into our day or week ahead. We finish with a cheerful song called The Longtime Sun and the mantra Sat Nam. Sat meaning true and Nam meaning identity or connection.

Is Kundalini Yoga a religion?

Kundalini is a science of the mind, not a religion. It was taught originally by Yogi Bhajan, a Sikh however he never encouraged anyone to follow that pursuit, though some have and that is there destiny. Kundalini is a science and energy. Yoga means to yoke or union, to experience awareness and union in the here and now.

Is Kundalini Yoga dangerous?

Kundalini Yoga is dangerous for anyone: trapped in their belief system, who doesn’t want to wake up, look in the mirror or increase their own awareness.

A teacher and self-learning is advised to gain maximum benefit from its teachings, as with any style of Yoga.

Do you do private sessions, teach at events or organisations?

From September 2019 I teach an hour of power morning class, a classic one hour and a half class and a morning meditation class. I am open to anyone who would like to hire my services for an event, organisation or individual session, please contact me tarankm29 at gmail dot com and we can work something out.

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Blog / Yoga

40 days of Meditation to burn inner anger

July 1, 2019

For the last 40 days, I’ve been doing Meditation to burn inner anger and rebuild your immune system.

The directions are to :
‘Breathe strongly and powerfully with emotion. Burn your inner anger and get rid of it. Take the help of the breath to get rid of the body’s weaknesses and impurities’.

It’s said that 11 minutes a day will re-build within you a powerful immune system and after 40 days, you will be a different person.

Meditation to burn inner anger involves you placing your left hand at your heart palm down and your right arm straight up two fingers out, two curled under your thumb. You breathe in through your mouth fully and out again through the mouth. At the end, you raise both arms up breathe in and cannon breath out. There’s a great video from Carlyn Cowen I started with.

This is the first 40 days I’ve done since having a baby! I was interested again to do a meditation involving my arms. I am a long time believer, from experience, that I hold a lot of stress and tension in my arms. I find them challenging but so rewarding too. Inner anger stuck out as we all have some form of anger inside us. The first image I saw was Snatamn Kaur demonstrating it and if she’s doing it (she seems like the calmest serene woman on the planet) then I can do it too.

There is and isn’t anything, in particular, I was personally working on. Though there are some parts of my environment that annoy me heavily and I can’t change them some not at all, some not straight away. It comes from living with an extended family other than my husband and child. If there’s anything I’ve learned from this experience, it’s to be truthful about how I feel. When I hide this or am in the reactive mode it becomes undealt with and I get physical symptoms, a twitch in my neck, heavy arms and stomach ache.

Stress will always show up in the body.

Throughout the 40 days, I kept a journal, crossing off days and writing notes about my days.

Some days, when I was really still and non distracted the meditation was super powerful and it was easy to commit daily to that.

What I noticed at first was the all to familiar discomfort of a commitment only four days in. I started by only doing three warm-ups then the meditation, though twenty days in I explored short kriyas while S.Kaur slept. Also throughout this period, I felt I was able to get more honest with myself and out loud. I got tasks done that I put off for another time.

I came across this killer Yogi Bhajan quote:

‘Truth spoken in fear is a lie. It is a comment from the heart chakra. Words of truth spoken kindly is the signature of the heart chakra.’

Highlights and happenings over 40 days:

Did my life insurance policy
Emailed venues to teach yoga at in London this September and met up with one of them.
I started having cold showers every day and once again it is wonderful and a total game changer.
I also started having a green juice in the morning followed by banana porridge. These became part of my new mum morning routine.
I planned a set of classes around the Chakras to re-familiarise myself and be prepared.
I stayed at my families when they were on holiday and had two mornings of yoga and meditation in a big room, vastness, and space.
I got into the daily habit of reading the Hukumnana each morning (daily order/intention of the day).
I did podcasts on Sabbath, Living environments and Anxiety notes. You can find these on True talks with Taran.

I went social media free Friday evenings – Saturday evenings! I felt so much more focused and now follow Cal Newport’s blog as he writes about digital minimalism (written book of the same name) and now getting into the habit of intentional social media rather than mindless default scrolling.
I tuned into how I felt and the growing annoyances, irritations instead of letting it grow into a mountain of resentment.
I recognized how great it feels to just have family time us three, so I make the most of a free house, walk in the woods, day out.
I feel less resistance and tension around household issues when it’s not your house, it’s not your rules. I change what I can (the parts of the house I can change I will and save for).

I made a new habit of opening curtains in the early morning, to be in natural light as much as possible (my mum’s house is great for this) and going for walks – daily walking really is clearing a lot.
I’ve done a lot of complaining these 40 days! Mainly to my husband, I’m recognizing what I do and don’t want and there’s nothing wrong with that. Though you can’t keep complaining, you need to be a vehicle for change!
It’s brought forward the reminder to put my practice at the forefront of life, the values I learn in Kundalini yoga are not just for the mat, they are for every moment and interaction. The same goes for Sikhi and the path I chose to live on.

I went to a SikhPA event Womens (in) equality – first time out in London on my own in two months!
S.Kaur moved from Moses basket to cot! She’s started smiling too!
I had three times where my tummy played up, felt so tight and irritated whether it be from food or stress, I was aware of it, ate light and when I felt to and spoke about my feelings towards things bothering me.
I’ve become more mindful of eating healthier food and earlier dinner time too. I’ve gone from eating at 7.30pm to 6.30pm, it means I have to get organized to cook around 5pm and save my husband’s food till later but we both feel better for it. I also bought Kundalini Yoga recipe book and there are some quick and easy gems in there.

I was reminded of the cornerstones of what’s important – Yoga, Sikhi, Creativity. Instead of being immersed in general conversation I recognized I wanted to work on side projects, learn and have deeper conversations. Something I’m experimenting with now.

I’ve listened to a lot of Guru Jagat on Youtube.
Tried out Pilates, Zumba, and Buggyfit. I also started a great baby massage class too with NCT.
I tied areas of the bedroom with S.Kaur which was both needed and fun too singing along to Snatamn Kaur!
I did a 24-hour appreciation challenge.

A Sikhnet story reminded me – no complain, no compare, no compete.
I went to a screening of documentary Mantra spontaneous date night and saw Dark Phoenix an Xmen film at baby cinema.
I made the first moves to switch from child benefit to Universal Credit (a long process).
I went out for drives with S.Kaur for the first time on my own, something I was worried about but all was fine.

I drafted some business cards and flyers for yoga business.
I went through a hand car wash for the first time, I’ve never cleaned any car I’ve owned.
I did a journal page, journaling my feelings then painting over them with acrylics.
My favorite Kriyas to do were: Pituitary Gland and Trukti Kriya.

In the last 10 days I:

Bought a new thicker yoga mat, new bras, personal development books (audio is more practical on walks) and a much-needed jet washer for the garden.
I edited my website so the focus is on yoga and classes, then my blog.
I wrote in a cafe distraction-free, guilt-free and it felt wonderful!
I recognized when with family, it can feel draining. Set boundaries and always take my own car.
Recorded dreams and did more of Byron Katie’s The Work app to deal with issues.
Started and completed Kriya A very subtle exercise, it involves a lot of shaking and journaling daily.
Saw mum and dad and did different activities – a restaurant and park visit – so refreshing!

On day 40:

I felt at first it ended badly – I spent money on a spontaneous gift that a) I didn’t get credit for and b) was not consulted about. However, it made a difference to another person and that’s what counts, also I didn’t need to go into a busy mall to get it. This day it was 33 degrees but babies aren’t really fans of sunbathing, something I love.

Though the same day I was given a bunch of skirts in my size and style for free and a cheque come through, again the name needs changing (spelling error) but it came.

The husband helped out feeding and changing S.Kaur so I could finish 40/40 days and family announced they’re moving home this year, enabling us all to sort our environments this year.

Overview and final thoughts:

I haven’t burned away inner anger so much as recognized it. Recognizing it coming in the form of complaining, comparing, striving, not letting things be, not accepting the way things are and being cold, distant, awkward and moany. There are things that I cannot change, only change how I am with them, it’s brought sitting in discomfort, the knowingness of what I want and don’t want.

Boundaries and self-respect are something to practice more of.

After all, everything is temporary and why let things take up rent in your mind when they don’t have to.

Life is a gift, don’t drift or create a rift. – YB

I like to track what I’ve done in a 40 days because it helps me stay accountable. It shows how transformative Kundalini Yoga can be in small changes, new habits and tiny but totally life-changing behaviors.

Have you done this or another 40 days meditation recently? I’d love to know or link to it in the comments below!

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Blog / Yoga

Filling up my cup each morning as a new mum

June 28, 2019

Being a new mum is wonderful, it’s great. Though at times it’s work. A job with many joys, a labor of love.

I’m finding there’s a little extra time in my mornings now, S.Kaur sleeps till 9ish if we’re not rushing to go somewhere. Sometimes, only once recently, I got a full nights sleep, 7 hours.

This brings me to an open window of time, say 4-6am then 6am-9am. Though I am tired beyond getting up if I’ve got up already in the night or not slept well.

There’s a window of opportunity to get up and fill my cup somehow.
The first time this happened on a good nights sleep I was ecstatic! I wasn’t even sure where to put the extra energy. Of course, it didn’t last and I overlooked a key new mum rule – don’t expect every night/day to be the same.

Still, I have this time and it’s golden. It’s not always a tidy space or enlightening experience but it’s Taran time and I love it.

Before I go into what I’ve actually been doing, another fault I found was to do a lot of things, even enjoyable and things like exercise and writing and get so overwhelmed in the doingness of it all, it leaves no time to rest in the silence, the tranquility. Also not having a cut off time can lead to feeling disheartened and a longing to do more.

It instills discipline at least, and good habit making even if the schedule is different slightly every day.

While I haven’t mastered anything just yet, here’s three things that are working now:

A warm shower followed by a cold shower, opens up the capillaries and activates the glandular and the nervous system. It’s being proven now in clinical trials to help depression as it sends many electrical impulses to the brain. This is a huge part of a Kundalini lifestyle and just one reason it’s called a science. Before, I never used to have showers in the morning, I would of thought it weird but they’re great and surprising how long you can stay under cold water.

A short yoga set followed by meditation. I’m currently doing 40 days of meditation to burn inner anger and at first, I was doing alternate leg stretches, camel ride and pelvic tilts to wake my body up and focus for meditation. Then, this block of time emerged and I started doing actual yoga sets again! It feels wonderful, I’m feeling like my best self again. The key thing to remember is all yoga Kriyas (unless specified) must be followed by a Savasana or rest of around 3-9 minutes. This is so you rest after all the postures and movements you’ve done and your body is energized and repairs too. You work for your Savasana and that’s where the real work happens.

I ask myself what is the one thing I can do that will drive my business forward. Or one thing I want to get done today. I’m in the process of setting up Yoga classes again, this time regularly in a hall and at home. This requires some learning, planning, admin and being inspired. I start with whatever I can do best with no interruptions and track my progress daily.

I also read Bani (reading Sikh prayers) though I definitely do not have the time nor the energy to sit for an hour and a half at the moment. I spoke about this in the podcast Nitnem, sometimes. What I do do is read the first Banis and they are my one point focus, I have them playing, I do Simran and I read, then listen to the discourse on the daily Hukumnana. Though not necessarily in that order. I’m also making an effort to listen and watch Kathas.

As S.Kaur grows I’m sure it will change, for now, I’m doing the best I can.

What do you find works for you in the mornings? Or as a new mum what are you re-remembering of yourself?

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Motherhood + Selfcare / Blog

Darkness, lightness we grow

June 23, 2019

This journal page started off as an open letter to life, in pen I wrote freehand all the things that were bothering me, a term that kept getting repeated was ‘Another key annoyance is..’ As I wrote freely, I started to see positives to the things that were bothering me and felt lighter.

Nothing had changed or was solved though I explored feelings and got it out on a page that I knew no one was going to read as it would also be full of hidden messages with layers of paint on top.

I had a comment on Instagram about the terms darkness and light a while back, they were saying there was no darkness because it’s all something to learn from and embrace. While I get what they’re getting at, there are days where I am in darkness. I feel unhappy, dissatisfied, not understood, striving for change that is ultimately gradual and uncertain about life.

There’s no denying it and I feel I’m getting better at sitting in the not-knowingness of life and ‘living my questions now’.

We are all familiar with contrast, we see differences in people, clothes, things, and experiences. We can learn something from it instead of jumping forward to label it, something I feel happens in bullying.

Sometimes you have to be in that darkness, sit in it till you see or feel some lightness in your being. Without the dark, we wouldn’t know light.

The word Guru translates to Gu – from darkness Ru – to light. That teacher which carries you from darkness to light. In the here and now we have people, experiences and teachings that that take us from a place of being in darkness to a lightness.

Yogi Bhajan once said if you’re having a wonderful ecstatic experience meditating, you’re not doing it right. Meditation is a cleansing process, clearing the mental garbage of the mind.

Similar in life, we aren’t all happy all the time, we can, however, pay attention, get intentional and grow from where we are.

That in itself is spirituality.

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Blog / Creativity

Don’t seize the day

June 6, 2019

I’m finding (as a new mum) there is no specific ‘day’ to seize, only moments.
Pockets of time to squeeze in an activity or get a burst of inspiration.

While she naps I have a chunk of time though I’m not sure how long the timeline of that will be. As wonderful as it is (especially when there’s no one around to interrupt me) I don’t want her napping all day, she can play!

In these moments I take a quick shower, meditate, read/listen to prayers, watch Sikhnet, Basics of Sikhi or a Ted talk. I rewash bottles and prepare the next one, I fold laundry and listen to podcasts. Sometimes I make a podcast too on True talks with Taran.

Last night I had a dream with many parts that I’m trying to connect. It inspired me to open my journal after months of it sitting in a box, to seize the moment and record it. What do a cat, dog, super Dan (from Brooklyn Nine-Nine), sleeping husband, a table, a TV show I loathe and the Japji have in common? No idea, they must connect somehow?

Seize the day is something I used to go with on my days off, I used to say ‘I thought I’d seize the day and do a b c today!’

If it works for you – use it!

Though for now, I will seize moments, like this to write a short post. To meditate for 23 minutes or plan a short yoga class.

Things can get done even if they don’t feel they ever will.

Small steps big action.

If it gets too much, it often does for me, then slow your breathing right down. Tummy breathe.

Slower.

Do you also seize moments too? Share it below!

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Motherhood + Selfcare / Blog

Switch off till Sunday experiment

June 2, 2019

I’m trialing something at the moment, a human or social experiment where I switch off from social media from Friday evening to Saturday evening, though usually, I extend it to Saturday night.

I did a podcast about it, interviewing my friend Channah about the Jewish practice of Sabbath.

I’m doing it for: a break away from something that’s so easy to flick to and browse, for the simple principle that it didn’t always exist so why should it always now, everything is temporary if Instagram dies (like Vine did) I don’t feel like I’ve wasted so much attention on it. Also, it’s a test on my will and to see what other things I can use that time for.

I think we all need time to switch off from things from time to time.
So far I’ve felt better than usual on Sundays and have more willingness to put energy into.

I didn’t have my own name for it then, you could call it Freedom Friday or Family investment time.

I like Switch off till Sunday.

Even today, (a Sunday) a reminder of it came up, as I was going back onto using my phone and social media – @hellobexa has a Sunday blog swap (on Twitter) I’m a fan of collecting new blogs and adding my own too! We, as a family went out to visit some relatives and Husband Ji forgot his phone. A common thing for some but not for him. He’s on his phone a LOT. Sometimes it’s Instagram, or looking up next buys but most commonly you’ll find him reading Paat (Sikh scripture, prayers) on a Gutka app.

I’m all for accessible Gurbani in life but all the time – no. No, because he won’t look up. No, because we can’t hold a conversation (or his driving guidance goes out the window). No, because he sometimes looks unsociable. No, because as a turbaned Sikh, I believe in order to be there for all, he needs to be present to all too.

I told him maybe Guru Ji wanted this for him to experience being completely present for a day. A gift from the Universe. And he even surprised himself, to maybe leave his phone alone on Sundays.

So far the experiment goes like this:

On Fridays I:

Try (though harder with a baby) to finish any ongoing tasks or tasks that haven’t been fulfilled all week that require a lot of work or attention.
Tidy and clean up my room late afternoon/evening – hoover, wipe surfaces, clean diffusers, empty the bins, I do the laundry and bed sheets every other week.
Then I cook some food and if there’s enough left over use it for Saturday.
I can spend Friday night – Saturday night doing things that bring me joy, relaxation, fun or simply focused family time.

So far I:
Have gone for a run with husband Ji on Fridays!
Read a few magazine articles outside in the sun.
Visited family, chatted and cooked with them.
Explored future ideas such as teaching yoga this September and restudying at some point.

Then on Sundays, I am open to going back on Instagram and Twitter, though I’m not actually in a rush to. I do something I want to (such as writing, podcasting.) I sometimes refer to it as Taran time and Daddy and daughter day.

I end the weekend drawing a rough schedule out for the week approaching and feel like I am beginning again. I plan or contact people I need to and overall I feel ahead of myself.

Though I’ve also learned so far it’s easy to get into overwhelm when a huge proportion of things you want to do, you do at the end of the week.

This happened earlier, I put on suncream and meditated for 23 minutes in the garden. It helped, I felt the overwhelm fade enough to write out just three tasks to do today. This blog post is one of them.

I aim to spread tasks out for the week, simple steps and seizing moments of time.

My friend Chanah who switches off for the Jewish practice of Sabbath says these key pointers:

DO
Set yourself enough time to do everything before you plan to unwind or before sunset. Make the room clean and peaceful where you can.
You could start it off with a candle lighting ceremony or just simply saying – Ok all done!
Have enough food to avoid going food shopping or make a batch to eat.
Treat yourself! Shower, read, talk to people, do a face mask, meditate for longer than usual – whatever makes you feel good and create a sense of happiness or meaning!
Make time for yourself, your friends, Sangat.
Spend extra time on spiritual activities – learn about a bani, listen to Katha and so on.
Do Seva or good deeds.

DON’T
Get stressed about cleaning, do what you can do and it’ll be worth it when it’s done.
Don’t be strict on yourself, your mental and physical health as well as your families come first. Don’t fall into – shoulds, what if’s, indecision and comparison.
Don’t do things you consider a chore or that generally make you go Meh!
Don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t work out how you want or expected.

We go over more on the podcast and to find out more follow @secretly.ch.ana on Instagram!

So far I’ve found a little withdrawal in not using my phone so much those two days, it manifests into frustration and I end up falling into blaming husband ji. It needs some work but I’m going to continue my experiment as long as I can.

Have you done or are doing a similar challenge? What activities would you add? Let me know in the comments below!

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Blog / Lifestyle

A transferable skill – One step ahead mama

May 19, 2019

A phrase I read on A couple of sense’s blog on life with a new baby has stuck with me ‘You will never procrastinate again’ and mostly, it is true.

I found myself thinking and saying aloud lately ‘It feels like I’m always in a state of doing’, ‘There’s always something to do’. Whether it be making bottles up, sterilizing the previous ones, putting a wash on, preparing a bag for a short trip out then to plan that around feeding and changing and finally leaving the front door!

I found for the first time in ages these thoughts disrupted my usual nap or sleep. I couldn’t switch off. At all. Not doing any form of creativity only makes it worse as I add on top things I could do and jot ideas down. A 30-minute nap turned into 30 minutes lying horizontal with my thoughts and silence.

‘I’m only here for Savasana’ totally fits.

A skill being busy does bring about is – being one step ahead- and it’s transferable. I now see why so many mums and dads I’ve been employed alongside me get things done and have a laid back attitude too.

This may seem obvious but it takes motivation and care to get up in the night and pump or check bottles, prepare with water, have a station set out so that 20 minutes before feed time – you are ready. No cries, no wails, you’ve got this and soon your baby and you go back to sleep.

If your not ahead or at least prepared, then you just get behind and it feels like you are crawling to get to where you should be.

I notice what feels good, accept I may not have it all sorted and what I can do to change things and feel good again.

Something I learned from listening to Jay Shetty being I interviewed on Under the Skin, a podcast with Russel Brand is that he used to say ‘I’ve had a busy day’ though it didn’t serve him in getting things done or reflecting on his day. He changed it up to ‘I’ve had a productive day’ and found it served him more in feeling good about his day and had a better sleep too.

As a new mum, I often don’t feel productive, life before meant I only associated productivity with some form of creativity, writing, painting or bullet journaling. Though if I’ve successfully fed, changed, put to sleep, fed, changed, entertained a little person (on repeat throughout the day, a 16 hour day) surely that is productive? Also on top of that if we’ve got out in the morning to see other mums and babies or go for a walk in the fresh air that is even more of a feat and surely productive and a great achievement in its own right.

So I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, neither should you.

And…If on days like today where I get to write then DAMN I have been productive.

Creativity is like a muscle, the more you use the more you strengthen it and creating becomes a habit then goal setting follows, something I’m going to dive deep back into.

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Motherhood + Selfcare / Blog

Why breast isn’t always best – From breast feeding to formula

May 12, 2019

It amazes me how you learn and experience so much in the first five weeks of having a newborn baby, I have so much I want to write about but I’m so tired to do so! It’s as if I open my sketchbook or laptop and she hears, baby S is back in business!

Today I’ve set a timer and I’m writing, she’s napping (and yeah usually I would too as the new mum advice says to) it’s quiet, I’m writing, perfect harmony.

To start off with, when I was pregnant (as a first-time mum) I wasn’t even sure I could breastfeed. When it was brought up in a group I just nervously said ‘Yeah, I want to, if I can, you never know’. I wasn’t against formula or pro it either, there used to be a stigma around it being bad but I couldn’t really remember why. Were parents lazy? Could they just afford to buy their milk instead of using the free good stuff?

I wasn’t naive, though innocent having never been a mother.

I loved reading Ina May’s Spiritual Midwifery while pregnant, everything seemed so back to nature, women breastfeeding smiling and there is no mention of bottling milk anywhere.

In the days leading up to baby’s birth, we bought some Hungry Infant formula, just in case.

After the not to plan but beautiful birth anyway, unable to move my legs, covered in a heated blow up blanket and shivering while the meds wore off, I was encouraged to breastfeed and she took to it straight away! It felt like a miracle! It was as if she learned how to do it in the womb, staying in there an extra 10 days.

In our private room at the hospital, another great addition if available and can afford to, it was just the three of us, nurses popped in and again, were very encouraging about feeding on the breast.

Whether it was nurses, family or later at the doctors, the response to me breastfeeding was met with an enthusiastic ‘Good!’ Looking back I had been labeled ‘good’, what if I wasn’t, was I then ‘bad’?

The term ‘breast on demand’ was thrown around by the midwives and health visitor and at first, it sounded and was exciting a new challenge! My baby can only come to me for food as her mother that is my duty and privilege.

A week, then two and three go by and baby S is more grizzly than before, no one knows why she is crying. To my senses she’s full, having a full 40 minutes of breastfeeding twenty minutes before. This carries on and despite the beautiful skin to skin contact we were having at regular intervals, if there’s no breast, the baby is cross. She frowns, avoids my gaze and cries and cries.

Gradually people are coming up with the conclusion she’s hungry, she can’t be! I say back.

Slowly but surely people are talking about trying out formula. I listen and take in the words but I feel like a complete failure. A rocky sea brings hormonal waves of bursts of crying like I’ve been at a funeral and I just can-not-stop-crying.

People are now telling me if I’m sad the baby will sense it through the milk I make.

In true style to me, I research and read articles, I go on forums, then and only then, I take up the idea of formula. People can tell me their opinions all they want and they were respectful and wise enough to know I have the final say as her mother.

I make the decision to try formula, even though it feels like I’m failing at life (I even said this to my husband after a whole day of looking after baby S, not how I envisioned how we’d spend our time at new garden furniture), I feel guilty that it’s not ‘my’ milk and look at her as if to say ‘I’m sorry. Do you like it? Do you prefer mine? I’m really unsure about this but there are vitamins in this too’.

She takes the whole 4 ml. She looks at me REALLY looks at me and sleeps fine. I can see for the first time in weeks she’s happy and full. Our baby’s happy! A weight lifted and I felt happier too.

Also, I can see clearly now that the only person that had judged me was me. Family had supplemented with formula, so had my mum and a good friend reminded me that it’s a benefit of the modern world when years ago people struggled and babies were weak and sick.

As the bottled milk had such a great effect, I decided to finally use the pump so I could give her my milk in a bottle too. This gave me the maternal sense of giving and freedom to let her Nannie and Dad feed her too.

I then fell down the rabbit hole of learning the best methods of pumping, I fell into a comparison of all the mums on Youtube who went from making a little to a lotta milk. I pumped every three hours, the more you pump the more you send signals to your boobs that you’re up for making more to feed your baby. The more you have in little baggies in the freezer for ‘just in case’ the better.

But it’s not, not always or for everyone.

At first, I didn’t mind pumping, a common notion around new mums, I felt I was giving and while pumping I drank more water (more water and small but often meals means more supply), I enjoyed smoothies with cacao, oats, flaxseed and banana, I read a book or watched a show on Netflix. It felt refreshing to have a baby free twenty minutes. The only downside was I couldn’t really use my hands to do anything, I had one hand free to hold something and one hand on the pump. Also, Baby S didn’t take to the grinding hum of the pump so I went into another room to do so.

A small price to pay I thought at first.

Over time it became more frustrating, to give up the time I could have been playing with her, napping or tidying to simply sit and pump. Especially as she was taking so well to the formula.

I went into research mode and other mums on forums wrote they gave breast milk till their baby was four months or eight months, that was a long feat for me! Finally, I found other mums that stopped in a matter of weeks, it took some digging, though whatever you choose — breast only, breast and bottle feeding, a bit of both or just formula, you will find a supporting article for you.

I then feel into the guilt trip and worries of stopping pumping googling an unlimited number of sentences ‘Should I just give formula?’ ‘What happens when stop pumping? ’It turns out yes you can if you so choose and time. Ice too, though I haven’t tried yet.

As staring at my meditation space today and the window outside at the only sunny day we’ve had all week, I chose two things cutting my pumping session short, to meditate and then go for a walk outside. I felt overwhelmed with thoughts and decisions, at family who were visiting in a few hours. I knew what would really serve me and happy mummy equals a happy baby, right?

I managed a short meditation, I spoke up about something that was frustrating me. I went for a walk and sat on a bench to gather my thoughts and turn them round Byron Katie’s The Work style and chilled out with family. I had a real conversation with another new mum (I’d been determined to have big talk rather than small talk) and baby had lots of cuddles, falling asleep in her Uncles arms.

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Motherhood + Selfcare / Blog

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