Taranjeet Kaur

Darkness, lightness we grow

June 23, 2019

This journal page started off as an open letter to life, in pen I wrote freehand all the things that were bothering me, a term that kept getting repeated was ‘Another key annoyance is..’ As I wrote freely, I started to see positives to the things that were bothering me and felt lighter.

Nothing had changed or was solved though I explored feelings and got it out on a page that I knew no one was going to read as it would also be full of hidden messages with layers of paint on top.

I had a comment on Instagram about the terms darkness and light a while back, they were saying there was no darkness because it’s all something to learn from and embrace. While I get what they’re getting at, there are days where I am in darkness. I feel unhappy, dissatisfied, not understood, striving for change that is ultimately gradual and uncertain about life.

There’s no denying it and I feel I’m getting better at sitting in the not-knowingness of life and ‘living my questions now’.

We are all familiar with contrast, we see differences in people, clothes, things, and experiences. We can learn something from it instead of jumping forward to label it, something I feel happens in bullying.

Sometimes you have to be in that darkness, sit in it till you see or feel some lightness in your being. Without the dark, we wouldn’t know light.

The word Guru translates to Gu – from darkness Ru – to light. That teacher which carries you from darkness to light. In the here and now we have people, experiences and teachings that that take us from a place of being in darkness to a lightness.

Yogi Bhajan once said if you’re having a wonderful ecstatic experience meditating, you’re not doing it right. Meditation is a cleansing process, clearing the mental garbage of the mind.

Similar in life, we aren’t all happy all the time, we can, however, pay attention, get intentional and grow from where we are.

That in itself is spirituality.

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Blog / Creativity

Three things that have lit my creative fire this week

March 22, 2019

Three things that have recently refueled my creative fire this week (four if you count a shift in hormones allowing me to wake up sooner).

The first came in a casual conversation with new family member Jag, he’s an artist, you can find him here. I showed him some home extensions, one of them is my creative space. We chatted about painting and shared stories of how we’ve both created over time. I shared some personal hang-ups and he listened and brought forth so much encouragement.

The second was mulling around twitter on a search for #artjournaler and I came across an old-time blogger iHannah. She’s still around painting journal pages in Sweden and her video on a page a day reminded me to just have fun and play. ‘It doesn’t matter if you paint a bad self-portrait in your journal one day, afraid to show the world – just do it.’

The third was a dream, I had a nap and dreamt I was in a small house with husband and he came to look at what I was painting, he said it was a lot of darks and there were no lights. I looked at my small canvas – dark brown, dark orange. I looked at the room, it was almost completely dark. He suggested I use lighter colours, go light, be lighter.

These three experiences tie in well with a podcast episode I listened to recently on Achieve your goals by Hal Elrod. To use what you read (or in this case experience, learn) to positively impact your behavior. It will change your thinking, you may go back and check your values. The real change happens when you change your behavior in a positive way.

Since our conversation, I’ve found a new appreciation of my creative space, I’m still experimenting with drawing though I am letting loose paint across a page again. It is partly about letting go of the past too.

iHannah inspires me no end, since watching her video and going through her blog again I’ve started journaling in an almost finished journal and added paint in new Moleskine one too. I’ve also loosened up the ‘Draw your day’ I was doing in my square book (that only resulted in four pages a month anyway) and am doing a mix of drawing and playing

Old and new supplies organised to play with

I finally updated my main art supplies! These will be on the go style supplies, inspired by journal girls couch box revisited I did a big shop on Art discount and Cassa Art. Though less is more and keeping it simple is key, so are quality paints, pens, and brushes. It needed a mix-up.

I have been painting lighter, colour blocking is so much fun.

I’m exploring a possible journal project, looking into how I can journal pre-prepped pages while still making a mark in the moment. Who knows how I will feel weeks from now, a change and plummet of hormones made it unbearable to even look at a page before, let alone fill it with colour soulfully.

It’s as if a light has been turned on and the windows are wide open.

What has lit a spark for you this week?

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Blog / Creativity

A letter of encouragement to my future self

February 4, 2019

There’s an exercise I learned called ‘A letter of encouragement’ similar to ‘Letter to my future self. I wouldn’t call it a ritual but it is an important personal piece of folded paper that has been around three house moves spanning 10 years!

Titled ‘Letter of accomplishment and proud moments’. At the top is my name and ‘Well done for achieving the following’. Underneath I wrote 13 bullet points of things I wanted to accomplish in the next 5-10 years. A list of seemingly impossible goals.

I folded it to the size of a small rectangle and titled it ‘Taran’s letter of accomplishment to self’ then folded it to a square and tucked it into a basket of toiletries in my bedroom.

I hid it mostly, only seeing it again when I fumbled around for something. It didn’t state ‘Open in 2019’ I just knew I wouldn’t open in it in a very long time. The longer time went by the more I could marvel at what I had done, I had long forgotten what was on the list anyway!

That was 10 years ago, Its time for a new note.

Out of 13 things on the list, I had accomplished four of them, highlighted in neon pink.

Two have been done and the other two are soon to happen. I wrote them when they seemed almost unreachable.

I wrote them in present tense as if I was reflective writing though I also add ‘You must be thrilled’ for example, as if being spoken by an encouraging friend.

One of them reads ‘Learning to drive – You passed! You drive with ease and confidence’. I wrote it when I had no idea if driving was even for me, I walked everywhere and was driven around by a then-boyfriend.

‘For traveling, being free to explore and discover new areas I love’, I wrote this before traveling parts of Asia and it applies to more recent trips in Europe too.

‘For giving birth and raising a child – You’re a mum before 30!’ Is in progress, at 29 I am 32 weeks pregnant and will be a mum long before my birthday.

Lastly ‘For raising a child and providing the best care and money while pursuing what matters most’ is on the right track. I am looking forward to being a full-time mom for a while. I’m also hot on mindful budgeting and learning about financial abundance for the first time in my life.

As for the other things of the list: publishing a book of poetry, holding down a great job, finishing my Arts degree and being a self-employed Art Therapist, they all fell away and weren’t really for me.

These weren’t for everyday reading like affirmations or visualisations, they change as you do.

I wrote out another list though when writing this, I rewrote the note again. I noticed a subtle difference between the two. The first was heartfelt. I remember sitting, feeling still and hopeful and writing a letter as if I was really congratulating my future self.

I looked over at my new list and I just didn’t feel that connection. I wrote it out again as if I was really letter writing, I titled my pen a bit in an effort to write slower. It holds joy, hope, faith, and a future vision now.

Under my name, I wrote out 8 accomplishments, that could be potentially ticked off in the next 5 years. There really is no limit, you could fill the entire page both times with plans!

Note opening estimate: Year 2024

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Blog / Creativity

What life drawing teaches & what to take

January 6, 2019

What I love about untutored class is it’s so relaxing. It’s like leisurely shopping without the hassle and cheaper, like a bath for my brain.

I won’t say ‘I can’t draw’ that phase is overused and not true but I will say – I can’t really draw portraits. I did go to a 6 week course once and learnt the basics a bit on proportions, drawing hands, shoulders, shading. Some of that has stayed in my brain and I use it but mostly I just draw the person in front of me and stop when the timer is up.

Life drawing is like win win too, the person gets paid, they exube confidence getting naked in front of everyone and talking to students during the break in a robe. People get the opportunity to draw a real life model. Win win.

Here are the prompts I go to before and during class:

1. When packing supplies I keep it simple, there are so many ways to make an expression on paper however I only bring mixed media if it’s a half day drawing course. Most are 1-2 hours. In today’s class I used my sketchbook, some back paper and a sheet of brown packaging. I took my usual sketching supplies pencils, pens . I took a white uni pin pen and a pink watercolour pen and used them too.

2. Chose a part that you want to draw are words that come into my mind at the start, I used to think I had to draw everything I saw and sometimes I find I have but I always start with an area of interest just incase I just do a drawing of an arm and a breast or two feet. It loosens me up, like the 1 minute, 3 min drawing exercises. I feel grounded – Remember there are literally are no rules and you may have to do some inner work on school/other teaching experiences to really know that!

3. If I am going to draw the model entirely I start with a loose outline, usually starting with neck, collarbones, the face shape. I carry on drawing like this with all limbs and seating arrangement. Then, only if I want to, I add facial features but many don’t and it can be really distracting and just not work. Keep it simple, your drawing doesn’t ‘have’ to have a face, you don’t have to do anything!

4. In breaks or at the end look at other people’s pieces, for inspiration purposes. If u sigh ‘I wish I could draw like that’ or compare ‘My drawing is no way like that’ you will miss all the goodness from people around you. Turn it around! The only way I knew to bring black paper to class also was because in one of my first classes I saw the style of drawing black on white was really interesting so I tried it myself! Today the person in front of me drew in a small sketch book with biro pen wonderful line work then I saw how they did monopronting! Sure there are going to be others who excel in drawing portraits, share the joy instead of resenting, we all need more joy!

I came to class today at almost 29 weeks pregnant and feeling it, the type of tired where you may fall asleep while walking or convinced you have a bad cold ahead. I sat in class (taking my pink yoga cushion as sitting down can give me agony at the moment) really relaxed and drew. I left feeling glad to have had the opportunity for a break and a trip to town, I’m doing a lot of staying in, I’m a bit like a creative hermit crab at the moment!

Todays life drawing was organised by Jelly who offer non tutored classes once a month, before this organisation there was no Art meet ups for adults or children in Reading town! They are an inspiration.

Yours Truly Taran

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Blog / Creativity

On writing: Childhood creativity firsts

December 9, 2018

I’m reading On writing by Stephan King and it’s feuling my writing in new ways. Not like I’d expected it to, I’m writing older memories as I go through his first chapter C.V, I started this series with Childhood Memories.

Stephan King makes a really good point from a fleeting moment as a child. He wrote a story rather copied it from a comic, his mum liked it and asked if it was his own, he said no and she said write something yourself instead.

It brings up to allow moments for creativity to flourish, no matter the starting point or size. There’s more distractions than there was in the 1950s what with iPads, youtube, TV and games. I didn’t have any of that growing up in the 90’s, we had a TV but our computer was slow and the internet dropped out consistently.

Writing and collage were much quicker and fun to do.

King talks about the stories he wrote growing up, he sent some off to publication too and even at a young age collected rejection letters. A great practice for someone so young, writing becomes second nature and resilience forms a strong creative spirit.

I thought over stories I wrote when I was young, I used to like the prompt at school of writing instructions to an alien of how to do things, like make a cup of tea or how to play sports. Outside of school I remember writing a story about a turtle and an island (I drew a picture at the bottom) it was a page long and I’m almost certain it had a moral in it. Even then I liked stories with a deeper meaning, a theme, motif.

I also sent a story to print, the embarrassing stories section of a teen magazine. I wrote how mortified I was that one of my shoes flew across the dance floor to the DJ who made an announcement to the person who had lost their shoe to collect it. That too had an illustration, I was so happy my story made it. Small but special.

I got some praise and encouragement when small though I had two younger brothers and they got a lot of attention. I turned to journaling and yoga, it’s the best thing I could have done.

Tapping into creativity young then pursuing it is do able and important, there’s no cap on writing or making though the school system try and sway you. People make a living from creative living.

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Blog / Creativity

On writing: Childhood memories

November 26, 2018

I’m reading On writing by Stephen King at the moment, a book brought forward from my wish list in preparation for Eric Maisels online memoir writing course.

It starts with childhood memories, something Anne Lamott writes about in Bird by Bird – write about your childhood.

It’s a useful prompt, only thing is I can’t remember much to write about. Nothing happened, no deaths or trauma I can recall. Maybe it’s a brain thing, that part of the memory in my brain isn’t as highlighted as some others.

I can remember bits and pieces but they’re not what I’d describe as ‘moving picture memories’ ones that I can play back. They are stationary, stories I have told before being brought up again. I remember things like my Nana taking me on mornings out shopping for dresses, getting my ears pierced and buying custard tarts. And little things like playing with wooden toys with beads to thread across a metal line while waiting for my mum at the bank.

As I’m reading the book I’m remembering more, like how my Dad would spell out T I R E D while in the back of the car as kids listening to the music they liked – The Carpenters.

A fun memory was brought up the other day, as the small people in our family give me little nudges. Maybe that’s what it will take to unlock memories in my mind.

Through talking about children’s swimming lessons I remembered my own. Not the lessons exactly though I’m grateful I learnt young because I’m a natural now. Learning to swim when your brain is still developing is a huge bonus to consider when parenting, like learning to drive young too when muscle memory is still developing. I love swimming even now, it’s a strength.

Flying lessons

Anyway the memories I have (my dad can’t remember) is of me being small in the pool, maybe about 5. My dad would (somehow) pick me up in the water and say ‘Ready?’ And I’d say ‘Yeah!’ Then he would throw me across the pool as many times as I asked. It was fun, I remember laughing and if I knew what joy was back then I’d call it that too.

Another time, with the same kind of theme, is where my dad would lay down and balance his feet on my stomach and I would stretch my arms out while holding his. I was flying! I think I carried on that fun flying experience with my two younger brothers too.

I like to think (other than instant amusement) the deeper meaning of that play was to teach themes of flying and soaring in life.

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