Taranjeet Kaur

No Spend Update 6 Months in and reset challenge

July 3, 2020

I’ve been experimenting in ‘lockdown life’ with anything from producing a Beginners Yoga course, to making marks in my art journal, searching job boards, and dipping my toes into admin courses.

I’ve been recording videos on Youtube over exercising my writing bones on social media, below is a video on my No spend update. You can watch it or read on, scroll to the bottom to see my money goals:

I was someone at school who was bad at Maths, I got an F. Tracking, budgeting, and better personal finance are habits I’ve been keeping up with (except that one month in lockdown I got really lazy) and they interest me.

It’s interesting, fun and something I’m actively learning are all great signs, though I haven’t decided if it’s a hobby for professional purposes yet.

I was talking with a family member about goals and how this period has made me focused and task-driven.

My money focus at the start of Covid-19 was signing up for things – Photoshop £10, Skillshare £19, Zoom to teach long classes (£15), an weekly accountability group (£14) and a teachable paid membership (£30).

My circumstance hasn’t drastically changed, though my thinking around money has and how I positively use it for my mental health and well being.

I have canceled all of the above.

Saving myself £88 a month. I may go back to Zoom paid if I do longer classes again.

I get why many small businesses are changing monthly as it’s a great way for income to come in. Though people who are on low income or are reducing expenses will be doing the same and cancelling stuff.

Photoshop is useful though I use Procreate on my iPad now and I paid the exit fee too, Skillshare is great and if I used it more I would still have it, it’s how I learned to navigate Procreate. My class attendance was getting less and less and I was finding little time to plan and prepare an hour and a half class so I switched it up to 40 minutes (where I can use Zoom for free).

The weekly accountability group was fun for a time though where I thought it was £10 it was more like £14 and I reviewed my accountability is, I need more conversation with ambitious and creative women I connect with! My teachable paid membership is the last to go, sad as I wanted my course to be a big success and cover costs of the membership and allow drip-feed content, though my free course Top 5 Yoga Tools has been popular and I know that money can be used elsewhere.

As mentioned in this video from The Financial Diet on minimalism in lockdown, I also bought myself some new clothes in May onwards, despite my No Spend Year rules I made at the start of 2020. As the months have gone by my basics need replacing and I wanted to change up my style, from T-Shirts and trousers to dresses. From wearing white a lot to darker clothes, patterns, and colours. I want to gradually build up my wardrobe with clothes I love to wear – some are even home-sewn, where I look less like a tomboy and more intentional and feminine.

I’m enjoying FREE again, picnics in the park (with food I already have) and community yoga classes on offer.

Read the list of rules below on what’s allowed and what’s not or watch the video on how I’m resetting my no-buy year, with a 6 month reset challenge.

Top 3 Rules:

Buy what needs replacing that I use a lot.
Create more (Art, writing, yoga classes, videos) than I consume.
Track everything in my notebook so I can see how much I have saved by December no matter how scary or pointless it seems.

Allowed:

Groceries, petrol, vitamins, cleaning stuff.
Things that need replacing – new sizes, basics, broken furniture we use daily.
Buy clothes – to suit a new style that will wear day to day or for exercise or on a meet up with friends and budget £30 a month.
Entertainment services such as films use for positive mental health/creative inspiration or to share with my partner.
Health and fitness classes once a week either free or paid for self-care and flexible muscles.
One book a month (if needed, I have some unread).
Days out as a family as the two or three of us, usually I find free things to do though as the little one is getting older I want to widen opportunities to learn and experience new places like farms, beaches, galleries.

Not allowed:

Spontaneous purchases eg. Accessories, turban materials
Purchases that don’t FEEL right
Track purchases as errors that I’ve done when emotional, bored, or in pain.
No clothes I won’t wear ALL THE TIME.
No Yoga books (I have enough here for now).
No home things unless NEEDED an even then use money have saved aside for home, where possible transfer the same amount spent into personal savings. (I go over this more in the video).

Looking at money broadly has got me interested to review my yearly costs and how much I use them and save for them too. It’s another reason I’ve come off so much social media use when I have a platform here that costs me yearly!

As it’s 6 months into the year, this is usually a time I put a bit aside for Christmas and Vaisakhi, this is something I will put in next month’s budget.

My Money Goals

I like this video with a Finacial Advisor who states 50% of income goes to Bills and Expenses, 30% to savings, and 20% is fun money. She goes onto say it works well to have 1-3 savings pots with different reasons for each, this is where I struggle as I have lots with little bits in!

I can break it down to my top personal savings (excluding what I do save aside for little one):

Emergency fund/cash cushion
New 5 door care to replace 3 doors (safer with a toddler)
Studies

And savings I also add to regularly:

Yearly bills
Home emergency/own place
DIY/home projects
Holiday
Christmas and Vaisakhi

Let’s see what the next 6 months have in store – lockdown or no lockdown here in London.

Went to green spaces a lot during Covid-19!

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Mindful finance / No spend year

February financial review and goals for March

March 10, 2020

It’s three months into my no – low spend year and I’m doing ok, there has been a massive financial bump in the road and it wasn’t caused by me, I’m working on not blaming while still being honest, more on that as we go on.

This month I took a leap of financial faith and went to a Sikhi Kaur’s camp (like-minded Sikh women gathered together for a weekend), it was completely worth it, it has rejuvenated my soul for a year. I wrote about it here. The cost of going:
Camp place: £30
Open return train ticket to Walsall: £26
Hot snacks en-route: £15
Sikhi gifts for me and SK: £17

Total: £88

Well, that did come to more than I expected! Though with careful planning i.e Taking lots of snacks, a water bottle, a magazine, making it cheaper and overall for a weekend away, that’s still pretty great!

I’ve noticed I tend to buy wants nearer the end of the month, I’m strict on not buying any clothes, out of curiosity to what or if anything is going to break that. I just get relaxed knowing payday is drawing nearer, I could have organized mall parking beforehand, made pancakes at home and not followed along with going into the Apple shop to ask about iPads when all the information I needed was online anyway. Still, it was a fun day out, going with the flow and being a small family unit for the day.

Examples of needs bought:

A prescription: £9
Another warm pajama top and blankets for teaching yoga classes: £26
Baby SK next size up in long sleeve vests, sleepsuits, leggings, tops: £50

Examples of wants bought:

Basics of Sikhi top and children’s book by artist: £17
Sirgun Kaur Mul Mantra sheet (haven’t had time to do): £1
Dress pattern: £14
Procreate app: £10

This month new editions include:

I bought an iPad and pen on finance, similar to how I did with my laptop (that I paid off last year), it’s less than before (£43) and the only thing I’m paying off monthly, aside from car insurance. The purpose of it is to carry on drawing posters and make it an easier quicker process, I want to learn illustration and calligraphy and I easily mess things up and spend hours and sheets of paper till it’s perfect and crisp. This took a lot of thought (a year) and it being £500 is not as lofty as my £1200 laptop.

I felt inspired after Kaur’s camp to change the style of Roti I eat, we have a multigrain wheat Elephant Atta here, though a gluten freestyle made from grains interested me. The best I can find is £5 for 1KG on Amazon, I bought 2KG and I will monitor how long it lasts as I want it to be cost-effective too. So far less sugar and less wheat are making me feel more clear-headed than in ages.

The financial bump in the road, was that of my husband’s doing. There’s only so long one person can use an overdraft for and it not hit them in the face like an angry bush in the night. Overdrafts and credit cards are NOT free money. They are NOT something you’ll figure out later unless it is an absolute emergency. I’ve learned this the hard way personally through paying off debt all of 2018 and not being able to save anything and now too. As a freeze comes to his account and pays not redirected until this month, I am supporting myself with a carefully saved sum that was supposed to go on a car. While this has stressed me out the last few days, I can see the bigger picture. I am sticking to my financial learnings, I’m still committed to my goals and whether I have money or don’t I’m still able to follow the Suze Orman line – Just because you have it, doesn’t mean you have to spend it.

That being said, all the consequences can not simply fall on me, the frugal free activity finding woman and mum of one, no. For someone to learn, they need to understand the consequences of their actions, so absolutely no money will go to him. Even when I hear ‘Please just £10 for petrol (to drive around leisurely)’ or ‘I want to go here, just £10, I’ll give it to you back’. Nope. I know there is food to take from the fridge and money on a travel card, that’s fine with me! Not having any financial sense and some financial abuse in my past has made it quicker to spot and easier to call out.

In a review of the month in general, I feel I have been spreading myself too thin, I’m using my creative brain again though am I doing lots of little actions with not much result at all? Or am I feeding my hungry creativity once again? I’m learning an instrument, painting in my journal, freestyle journaling, learning and practicing yoga sets, making a dress from a pattern, drawing and writing. Time is of the essence, especially with a baby who has dropped one nap, though she is finally going to bed a little earlier. I’m working on a ‘one thing’ on what is truly essential, I’m reading Essentialism by Greg Mckeown. Coming off social media has helped greatly, now that’s not in the mix, creativity has replaced consuming and scrolling.

The Numbers February:

Budget: £196 and food £300

Yoga Earnings: £54

Gifts/benefits: £82

Put in short term savings: £75

Put in long term savings: £15

Put in pension: £16

No spend days tracked: 13

At the end of February, I still had £90 left, I used up my travel card to go into central London for a free talk and I haven’t needed to fill up my car. I only used one page of a tracking sheet, compared to usually two A4 sides.

My aim for March is to buy only needs and make more money, Yoga classes filling up is still slow progress, I enjoy teaching and having the surprise of someone turn up to a drop-in class. I’m applying for jobs and things are looking up (she says, after weeks of wavering doubts and comparisons to it being easier to find gold).

I’m also going to have to make meals last and cook more ‘Indian style’ like my generous mother in law, last month I learned how to finally after two years of getting out of it, make Roti, what’s in store this month!

Doing a no-spend year makes me question buying wants even more, is it ok to just buy one want a month and feel satisfied and happy to do so? For example, I bought an essential oil roll-on for menstrual time, it may help, it may not. It may be a great investment and I did look around for the cheapest but best version I could, Neal’s Yard women’s energy (£8). Then there’s the question of going to an art class at £25 hosted by Jennie Maizels, oh how I want to go, though currently £25 would sit better in my account. As not forgetting I have website fees, a car MOT and baby SK’s birthday all together. Another questionable item was sharing my money through going to an event mothers day, thankfully due to all the birthday prep, I’ll be going to two free events that day instead.

Is this the part of the journey where having control of how much I give to others and myself is put to the test and before I press ‘order’ or ‘book’ is questioned and self-inquiry is done to whether or not I need it?

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Personal Finance / No spend year / Blog

January no spend in review

February 9, 2020

I’ve been following my no spend year well this January, I don’t do a monthly review till near mid of the next month as pay day falls later than most. I do myself a favour in waiting and learning patience rather than self destruct and transfer from my savings, something I used to do all the time.

Financial surprises:

I had two major hits on the same day that thankfully got resolved. There’s nothing like being told you can’t park on your own driveway after you see your rear light has smashed. The council have made changes to houses with a dropped curb and I’m now paying £100 a year to park in the street. Then realising it’s been processed wrongly, to do another £100 pay out (which left me with almost nothing) and wait for a refund. I found a new library while at the council offices and the refund came within 5 days not 28 days, thankfully.

I got a place at a Kaur’s camp (an event where Sikh women meet up), it feels like a stretch as I need to travel up North though for two days of rejuvenation with other females £30 is still amazing.

I renewed my car insurance and it’s the same price – no new admin fee to pay.

Mindful about money moments:

I listened to Suze Orman on her podcast saying “Always respect your financial situation” and I put it into practice not giving extended family birthday money, twice, when I needed what I had in my account for petrol and basics. I said out loud ‘I’m not going to as I can’t afford it’ and you know, no one died. All was still well.

I started two new weekly groups local to me, one musical and one physical, they come in at £16 a month – for both. This is part to do with coming off social media and being more in my community which I write about in this post.

I took back items when needed and used up some old tea before buying new.

Examples of needs bought for me and baby (outside usual):

Shampoo and conditioner

Foot cream

Baby shoes, coat, socks sleep suits, vests

Examples of wants bought:

Gesso replacement

A wooden plank which was made into a shelf for my books

Business cards and holder

Vegan vitamins (not sure of the difference yet).

Money error:

A baby yoga class I used to enjoy didn’t pan out as expected as now she is 10 months and crawling to everyone and everything in sight.

I bought a watch to stop using my phone for the time and I found it so helpful! Though after buying it off Vinted, then a battery, then it stopped working, it wasn’t worth it. I will replace as started a good habit of telling the time without a phone.

Financial awareness:

Writing in this form has made me aware of how honest you need to get with where money is going and what it’s being spent on. It comes down to your relationship with money though also your relationship with others and money. Especially in a marriage, especially when the other person spends differently to you.

For instance I bought a baby coat and husband bought two more as it wasn’t well received. The coat bought on the high street was on sale and it is super warm, though the extra two not necessary.

There have been times I’ve said ‘Can you get this for me while your out?’ and I don’t feel it’s a serving habit, when I know the other person doesn’t have much to spend, even though they may seem like they do. Other times things they have purchased have been really useful though I would have saved for them, a replacement Nutri bullet, wireless headphones, Baklava. Are they gifts and needs when you don’t have the money to spend on them? How do married couples spend mindfully? Only time will tell.

Favourite memories from January:

Having no spend weekends – going to Gurdwaras (Sikh temples) and baby crawling everywhere and moving to the Kirtan (devotional music).

Going to martial arts class, sometimes with husband and music class alone.

Talking at dinner as a couple in quiet room.

Walking to other children centres for free baby activities.

The numbers

Budget: £300 and £300 food

Money spent: £450 and £267 food shopping

Yoga earnings: £16.50

Gifts/benefit given: £176

Put in short term savings: £139

Long term savings: £0

Pension put in: £16 min

How do you do your monthly money workings or review? Tell me in the comments below!

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No spend year / Personal Finance

What makes a financial faker AND how they’re turning things around

January 25, 2020

Something I’ve noticed while adopting a No Spend Year is how others spend their money. I don’t dwell too much on it as it’s not my business and I do personal work on staying in my business, being myself, I have Byron Katie to thank for that.

I re-listened to Suze Orman’s rules on intentional spending:

Live below your means and within your needs.
Buy your needs.
Be as excited for saving and you do spending

As I listen and learn about other people’s journeys and habits, I am no longer fooled by statements that sound great on the surface. Whether it be through knowledge or intuition, I know that’s not the whole truth.

Truth is power, it’s riches!

Someone exclaiming – ‘I did X and put down a house deposit!’ Or ‘Yeah £100 is nothing’ and ‘I earn £30,000 a year by myself’ when I know, that debt and more debt was involved, not having money, to begin with, and borrowing it so everything seems affordable is not ok and it doesn’t matter how much you earn if you waste it away and have nothing saved.

These are financial fakers, we may have been in this category at one time or another. I was at the time of being a Nursery Nurse, I got paid very little though on the outside I seemed like I had the perfect living set up, spare cash to spend and was happy.

I was not.

I paid a ridiculous amount of rent, spent all my money on art supplies and hated my job. I had no savings. It was a vicious cycle.

Keeping up with other people, with how you think your life should be will not work for long.

Keeping up with your values, building security and stability for yourself is important.

I am pleased when I hear the same people say ‘I can’t afford that at the moment’ and are eagerly switching billing providers to a cheaper one as often as they need to. Another saying ‘This year I’m going to save £6000’ compared to before asking ‘What do I need to save for?’

Now I also out loud say ‘I can’t give what I don’t have’ or ‘How can I afford it at the moment?’ when recently asked to gift someone money, I respected my financial situation, I talk about it in January no spend update.

In truth I am a wife and mother supported by my husband at the moment, I teach Yoga and I’m starting another soon and launching a product. I’m looking for a part-time job too.

I’m spending what I, what we need, I’m getting focused and that is powerful.

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Money Mindfulness / Personal Finance

Seven days of social media-less and decluttering

January 8, 2020

The last 6 days I’ve committed completely to Spring cleaning, clearing out the old and refreshing my physical environment and my social environment too.

How and why?

By making a deadline (6th Jan when term starts again) and joining in Cal Newport’s Analog challenge that’s how.

I did this not only to start the new ‘anew’ though to shift things and clear the slate, the clutter I did a video on my No spend 2020 rules below.

I like how Personal Philosophy Project described her no spend ‘a year of decluttering’. There was a time in my life where I was decluttering the ENTIRE TIME, I could also call it my mid-twenties. I lived out of home and as much as I decluttered it made no difference. There was always more stuff, it always looked messy and I got nowhere. Case in point, if you move out, make sure the place is tidy so you don’t take on more stuff. It overworked me physically and drained me mentally too. Though the mention of it in the video motivated me to start the year clearing things out and to look at decluttering in a positive light.

Last year I started reading Cal Newport’s books and blog and his works are changing my life. I’m now reading Deep Work and soon his latest Digital Minimalism. Cal Newport is a huge inspiration for making content over casually scrolling on social media like a one-fingered robot 40 hours a week. I’m not a typical social media lover and I schedule posts for yoga classes, though the last year, being a mum, it became a big distraction and means of activity any spare moments I had. My one hour of scheduling in social media wasn’t a reachable target with a 7-month-old and now she’s older she knows when I’m not present and wants to play with the phone if it’s out. When I stopped using it as much I noticed how much lighter and freer I felt.

I felt good, I believe in doing more of what makes us feel good.

I’m using Cal’s tips and the analog challenge, using my phone for calls, messages, maps, and audio having 20 conversations in audio or in person, and joining a group to name a few. I’m also off social media, this includes Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Youtubing as I can make or read instead. I have scheduled yoga classes up till February and will work on content and bigger tasks till then. Read more about it on his blog.

I could, and will dive into more of the world of less social media and more actual human contact at some point. Here are seven days to start:

31/12/19

I deleted 700 accounts I was following on Instagram and reduced it to 300. Through doing this I used a feature where you can mute and hide people’s stories and posts without them knowing. I deleted accounts that have no value to me anymore like Pregnant and perfect, accounts that rarely post and people I like but don’t know personally and even people I do know in real life if they want to share they can tell me any time they visit (which in this household is very regularly anyway). I had to be ruthless and it’s nothing personal that I evaluated what I want to see in my leisure time, it came down to organisations I gain further knowledge from, events in the area and some general friends updates that make me smile. I’m gradually coming away from life updates and essay writings.

I moved my social media apps to the last page on my phone and in a separate folder, this is to not have them stare back at me at first opportunity when I open my phone. Deleting them would be even better and I am getting better at using them on the iPad instead.

I started filling out my Life Workbook by Leonie Dawson in the holidays and I’ll be continuing throughout January and the Business workbook too.

1/1/20

I tidied up the photos on my photos app, deleting duplicates and put ones to keep on my hard drive. I made new albums for the year ahead and projects I’m doing.

I took a leap from my normal routine of web fixes and trusted a freelancer on Fiverr – It worked and I feel freer for it.

I put my first ebook onto the iBook store and it got accepted. You can buy it on Amazon, the ibook store and Fiverr. As I’m doing a social media detox this month – your hearing about it first here!

2/1/120

I moved my Art desk upstairs, I had been using it on and off in the cellar in a shared space with a dressmaker and made the switch to the attic where a window and natural light is streaming in. I threw out two black bags of rubbish and reorganised all my draws. I’ve minimised and haven’t shared the process or the result as I used to, looking back it doesn’t mean much. Maximizing my project workflow to completion and sharing will and that’s my aim instead.

3/1/20

I vacuum packed a big bag of baby clothes and put away old maternity clothes, I still have a jumbo vacuum bag use, that’s the value of asking for something I need for Christmas from a reliable family member.

4/1/20

I sorted and made my creative room useable, with art supplies you need to go through everything and put it in a specific place, I think I threw my gesso in a hurry so that will need replacing. I also made it as baby as safe as possible although I want to take advantage of me time there.

5/1/20

I spring cleaned the bedroom so that spaces are useable and don’t get messy every week, the six sets of wooden draws that sits on top of a cabinet from Ikea is perfect for that and that nothing gets left on the floor except a box with lid of cuddly toys and my morning ritual supplies.

6/1/20:

I spring cleaned the office room, I put notebooks and files in holders on the desk and took away creative supplies so that it can only be used for computer work. I also sorted through a bag of books and re-reading Marie Kondo’s chapter on getting rid of books. I held a book and asked if it still moved me, I did open a few, it was hard though I was ruthless, I love books and went to the charity shop late morning and gave a bag of books and a bag of random stuff.

I feel I’ve started my year off right, cleaning up before getting stuff done!

Do you do something similar in January? Or another ritual or tradition that positively serves you and changes your outlook, let me know in the comments below!

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No spend year / Blog / Challenges

13 Things Suze Orman has taught me about money Part 1

November 11, 2019

It’s November 2019, this Summer I heard Suze Orman on two Bad with money with Gabby Dun podcasts, these two forces opened up my world of a person being individually interested in personal finance. I had no idea a person could get so interested, focused and have fun from personal finance matters. I just thought it was a job where people wore suits and sat at a desk and did stuff.

I started listening to her podcast Women and money while on walks with my young daughter in the pushchair. That’s the thing about having a child, especially a girl, a future woman of the world, is that you want to do the right thing, I’ve messed things up before and now I want to get it right. Though it doesn’t happen overnight and in parenting, there’s no ‘right’ way, things are ever-changing and I can feel under pressure to get it right, whatever that looks like. Here’s the thing, the most common thing I hear from podcasters that are mothers too and their children are older, is that they tend to do as you do. Even when I think back now to my family, I did pick up some good habits, fears, and patterns of thinking from my parents. So even though I don’t have every right in a diagram in a textbook, I’m always learning and trying things out for more happiness and success in life.

Suze Orman isn’t a mother and it doesn’t matter, she’s a mum to all of us! Every time I listen to a podcast of hers or watch a video clip, it’s like she’s that loud, truth-telling, no BS friend and I listen. I’d love to write to her in a few years and outline all the financial ways I made my ideal life a reality, for now, I’ll go over what has changed this year, the year I’ve turned thirty!

Also as Suze is a US financial expert I set out to find UK resources and have used them a ton too, scroll down to see the links at the bottom of the page.

My financial back story is that growing up I lived in a wonderful big house in a safe neighborhood, I didn’t see that at the time, it just felt boring, far away from the city of London and I took where we lived for granted. My Dad did his books to track his incomings and outgoings and my mum always kept reminding me not to get a credit card, though she had them in her purse. We shopped at the cheaper supermarkets before it was cool and it irritated me we didn’t get branded stuff, now I see this as a good thing. I also took for granted that just because I lived in a big house, didn’t mean I would end up in a beautiful big house of my own, do I wish someone had straight talked me to see that? Yes but I probably wouldn’t have listened at 10 and been too stubborn at 16. I’m not even sure who gets the house in inheritance, I haven’t asked yet and I’m not holding attachment onto that idea.

I moved out at 17 at the beck and call of ‘If you don’t move in then we’re breaking up’ that should have been the first red flag of a relationship but I was young and naive and what I thought was love, were only sometimes loving acts of someone who fell into depression. The rest was cohesive control and financial abuse. As psychologist Emma Kenny said recently in a live clinic on Twitter ‘That’s the thing about cohesive control, it f***s with your mind and you’re not sure what is and what isn’t control’. Somehow, I became the main bill payer and a fraction of my wage I was able to spend on myself, any money that came in, even birthday money, was gone, it may have been petrol for his car, or help with another bill, still, these little things stand out. I relied on my family to help with any studies I pursued, though no courses I did opened up any options and I wasn’t as self-sufficient as I thought. Most importantly it left no room to save and 9 years later after going through health issues and a personal journey of yoga and meditation I left. I left with all my belongings in my car and turned up to my mum and dad to stay in a spare room. For years I was put off leaving as that option had been blown up as the worst thing I could do, it was a saving grace and thank goodness I could do so.

In 2017 I called it my ‘single year’ though looking back, I could have taken longer and I’d encourage anyone to do so. I like Emma Watson’s term ‘self partnered’ replacing single, it feels so whole and content rather than lacking something or someone. This year I did a yoga training that was on my lips as an affirmation for years and it felt so great to do something I loved, it set me back £250 a month though it taught me the value of money to study. For the first time in my adult life, I was spending less on rent and I had more in my bank account than I knew what to do with. I went through the guilt of spending and eating alone until I found a happy medium.

There’s a common mistake I feel most of us make and that is when we live with parents or relatives, we take for granted that we spend less on bills and rent, then spend anywhere we can. Not always, as we may be studying, paying off debt but in my experience only now am I saving. Younger people, like my brothers two years younger say back to me ‘Yeah, but, er, save for what?’ I wish I could just explain it and I try, some things have to be experienced. That’s why resources like Suze Orman are so valid because she just says it how it is.

Back to the present day, I’ve recently turned 30, my maternity leave has stopped, I’m relying on my husband’s wage who is okayish with money. I have little savings, that has been dipped into and a potential letter from the government saying we owe them benefit money when I did everything I possibly could right in all forms of communication.

This may sound bad, like I’ve got back on the merry go round and I’m back at square one – powerless. Some days even I question it. Though I see a different view, I have more awareness than ever, here’s how Suze Orman’s catchphrases and words of wisdom work in real life:

Do I need it? Can I afford it? – I think as I buy an item, I also write NEEDS out each month on a shopping list and follow it.

Check your statements and call out any confusion – We may not have paper statements anymore much but this bears repeating as I once found I was paying £20 a month for a gym I thought I had canceled. Another time something came up on my statement as a gym 60 miles away, till I realized it’s funny title was a local yoga class – still good to check! One thing I do is keep all bills from one bank account and when recently I noticed it was coming out of another one, I took 3 minutes to switch it, that’s all it took!

People first, then money, then things – I call out to my husband as he lists more things he wants to buy. It reminds me of my value and what I want to bring into life and my daughters, she’s at a young age where she doesn’t ask for trinkets and enjoys everything around her. I use that to an advantage and build up her Junior account that I only touch when I’m getting something really important, like a toy storage unit. I also have a long term saver. There are so many hidden messages in shops to buy buy buy, you just have to see through them.

Be a warrior even when you have fallen – I was listening to a podcast where a woman said she had fallen on hard times and was putting everything into practice and wanted to know what to do next, the response was to continue being that warrior as before! Feeling sorry for yourself and doing nothing won’t cut it, you’ve been there before you can get back there.

Pay off your credit card debt – I did it! This year I paid off my debt, I’ve learned about how interest works and that credit cards work better when you pay it off in full each month.

Listen to yourself first – Other people can get in the way of this, even in a well-meaning caring way. If I had listened to my husband saying don’t pay off your credit card then that £1000 would have been used to buy more stuff, I knew we would get by so I did it and I’m £40 better off each month. Another time I expressed I wanted a long mirror in the bedroom and family said to ‘just buy it off Amazon’ (I’ve come to loathe that phrase, having stopped shopping there almost entirely) and had I listened and thought, ‘Ah yes! It must be brand new’ I would have done that, however, there was a great one no one was using in another room, so I cleaned it and put it up on the wall, it looks great! The same happened with a set of drawers, another mirror, shelves, and a picture frame, all re purposeful in other rooms.

Create an emergency fund – Now, I am nowhere near the 8 month emergency fund line, I’m barely at one but what I did do was set up a high interest savings account that I can’t access from my phone, I have to log in on my laptop the old-style way and it works for me. There were higher interest rates if I set a limit on how many times I could potentially get money out or a notice period to do so, I’m learning about bank accounts and it’s fun! In this account I put a chunk of money I got given for my wedding, it means a lot that I got it at all so I’m not in a rush to spend and it’s something I will build up. Having left a past relationship with nothing, something I never thought would happen to me, I want to be prepared and money can help with that.

It doesn’t even have to be a life-altering thing for it to be included as an emergency fund, some stories from friends include: staying at a hotel after scares of an attempted burglary, losing keys and paying for new locks for a shared house, a husband being hounded for money for a chest freezer his wife bought on loan or the boiler system being replaced. It can be anything and as soon as I pay off my last little loan, this will take priority, small steps.

Sometimes helping is hurting and hurting is helping – This one is a biggy and the other night I truly felt it. Whenever my husband brought up studying he was honest about his bad credit rating and asked me to put it on my name and he will give me the money. Originally I said yes, though through listening to stories on the podcast and a friend’s encounter I changed my mind. That’s so important – you are allowed to change your mind. So one night in bed I told him, I am not putting it on my name as I didn’t feel comfortable in that position and money is low at the moment, it hurt, really hurt both of us though the next day we went to a college offering free courses and who knows maybe not all is lost (or he can work harder at getting his credit score up).

Don’t be in a rush to be poor – So in case you don’t already know, we live with my mother in law, and while it’s great it can also have its downfalls, I would love to be in a position to buy and pay off our own home, this wasn’t in the original plan though like I said before – you can change your mind – and I have. It’s going to take a lot of grit, work, saving and praying to get there and as much as I want it I count my blessings and I’m not in a rush to be poor(er).

Feel your power in your clothes rather than get power from what you buy– Meaning if you (like me) decided to get rid of 90 percent of her wardrobe and stick with the 10 percent we supposedly all wear anyway, you will find joy from looking at the few items you do have and love and get joy from wearing them. Also if I can practice being powerful in my jogging bottoms out of the house, you can too. I like how Suze gets compliments on her $5 jackets because people are so drawn to her power in them, they think they were bought for much more.

It’s only a gift if it’s a gift to give it – This is a tricky one, it plays at my heartstrings a bit, we all want to give though at what price? Struggling in some months, doing so out of obligation and fear? It makes no sense and I don’t play along with it now, I ask is this truly a gift to give it, I ask others what they need or want. I honestly just buy for close family and one or two friends now. I save throughout the year for presents and December rather than experience so much stress at the most wonderful time of the year.

Live below your means and within your needs or just cos you have it, doesn’t mean you have to spend it! The second line I repeated to my best friend while out shopping yesterday, she got it and afterward reflected on how intentional she had been rather than in a flurry of choices and getting home to open a huge bag of stuff she wasn’t entirely satisfied with. This means to live within what you have or below and buy your needs, how many of us live paycheck to paycheck and don’t try anything to change that? I track everything now and while I can’t show stats on that because I’m still in the early stages of a financially independent woman being born, it’s changing things dramatically. Imagine if we all shopped only for actual needs? How refreshing.

It’s not how much money you have it’s what you do with what you have. This always serves as a great reminder a) it’s not about being the most charitable giving being you can, it’s about being responsible with what you have. Also b) I remember these words when the conversation has turned to someones new house with walk in wardrobe and garden view.

This brings me onto Suze Orman’s key to life in an episode on faith: ‘The key to life is to be as happy in your sadness as you are in your happiness’ and the mantra I’ve been repeating:

When one door closes, another door opens!

Suze Orman if you’re reading this, thank you and I’m going to write to the show when I have more goodness to report on, I’m just beginning and have a way to go yet. Together we will rise!

A list of UK money mindful resources to jump into:

Martin Lewis at Moneysavingexpert.com

thesecapeartist.me

Thefrugalcottage.com

Holly at boringmoney.co.uk

Books I’ve read and loved:

Sheconomics

Rich dad poor dad

Do you have take aways that you’ve used in life you can share? Please comment below.

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