Taranjeet Kaur

Seven days of social media-less and decluttering

January 8, 2020

The last 6 days I’ve committed completely to Spring cleaning, clearing out the old and refreshing my physical environment and my social environment too.

How and why?

By making a deadline (6th Jan when term starts again) and joining in Cal Newport’s Analog challenge that’s how.

I did this not only to start the new ‘anew’ though to shift things and clear the slate, the clutter I did a video on my No spend 2020 rules below.

I like how Personal Philosophy Project described her no spend ‘a year of decluttering’. There was a time in my life where I was decluttering the ENTIRE TIME, I could also call it my mid-twenties. I lived out of home and as much as I decluttered it made no difference. There was always more stuff, it always looked messy and I got nowhere. Case in point, if you move out, make sure the place is tidy so you don’t take on more stuff. It overworked me physically and drained me mentally too. Though the mention of it in the video motivated me to start the year clearing things out and to look at decluttering in a positive light.

Last year I started reading Cal Newport’s books and blog and his works are changing my life. I’m now reading Deep Work and soon his latest Digital Minimalism. Cal Newport is a huge inspiration for making content over casually scrolling on social media like a one-fingered robot 40 hours a week. I’m not a typical social media lover and I schedule posts for yoga classes, though the last year, being a mum, it became a big distraction and means of activity any spare moments I had. My one hour of scheduling in social media wasn’t a reachable target with a 7-month-old and now she’s older she knows when I’m not present and wants to play with the phone if it’s out. When I stopped using it as much I noticed how much lighter and freer I felt.

I felt good, I believe in doing more of what makes us feel good.

I’m using Cal’s tips and the analog challenge, using my phone for calls, messages, maps, and audio having 20 conversations in audio or in person, and joining a group to name a few. I’m also off social media, this includes Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Youtubing as I can make or read instead. I have scheduled yoga classes up till February and will work on content and bigger tasks till then. Read more about it on his blog.

I could, and will dive into more of the world of less social media and more actual human contact at some point. Here are seven days to start:

31/12/19

I deleted 700 accounts I was following on Instagram and reduced it to 300. Through doing this I used a feature where you can mute and hide people’s stories and posts without them knowing. I deleted accounts that have no value to me anymore like Pregnant and perfect, accounts that rarely post and people I like but don’t know personally and even people I do know in real life if they want to share they can tell me any time they visit (which in this household is very regularly anyway). I had to be ruthless and it’s nothing personal that I evaluated what I want to see in my leisure time, it came down to organisations I gain further knowledge from, events in the area and some general friends updates that make me smile. I’m gradually coming away from life updates and essay writings.

I moved my social media apps to the last page on my phone and in a separate folder, this is to not have them stare back at me at first opportunity when I open my phone. Deleting them would be even better and I am getting better at using them on the iPad instead.

I started filling out my Life Workbook by Leonie Dawson in the holidays and I’ll be continuing throughout January and the Business workbook too.

1/1/20

I tidied up the photos on my photos app, deleting duplicates and put ones to keep on my hard drive. I made new albums for the year ahead and projects I’m doing.

I took a leap from my normal routine of web fixes and trusted a freelancer on Fiverr – It worked and I feel freer for it.

I put my first ebook onto the iBook store and it got accepted. You can buy it on Amazon, the ibook store and Fiverr. As I’m doing a social media detox this month – your hearing about it first here!

2/1/120

I moved my Art desk upstairs, I had been using it on and off in the cellar in a shared space with a dressmaker and made the switch to the attic where a window and natural light is streaming in. I threw out two black bags of rubbish and reorganised all my draws. I’ve minimised and haven’t shared the process or the result as I used to, looking back it doesn’t mean much. Maximizing my project workflow to completion and sharing will and that’s my aim instead.

3/1/20

I vacuum packed a big bag of baby clothes and put away old maternity clothes, I still have a jumbo vacuum bag use, that’s the value of asking for something I need for Christmas from a reliable family member.

4/1/20

I sorted and made my creative room useable, with art supplies you need to go through everything and put it in a specific place, I think I threw my gesso in a hurry so that will need replacing. I also made it as baby as safe as possible although I want to take advantage of me time there.

5/1/20

I spring cleaned the bedroom so that spaces are useable and don’t get messy every week, the six sets of wooden draws that sits on top of a cabinet from Ikea is perfect for that and that nothing gets left on the floor except a box with lid of cuddly toys and my morning ritual supplies.

6/1/20:

I spring cleaned the office room, I put notebooks and files in holders on the desk and took away creative supplies so that it can only be used for computer work. I also sorted through a bag of books and re-reading Marie Kondo’s chapter on getting rid of books. I held a book and asked if it still moved me, I did open a few, it was hard though I was ruthless, I love books and went to the charity shop late morning and gave a bag of books and a bag of random stuff.

I feel I’ve started my year off right, cleaning up before getting stuff done!

Do you do something similar in January? Or another ritual or tradition that positively serves you and changes your outlook, let me know in the comments below!

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No spend year / Blog / Challenges

13 Things Suze Orman has taught me about money Part 1

November 11, 2019

It’s November 2019, this Summer I heard Suze Orman on two Bad with money with Gabby Dun podcasts, these two forces opened up my world of a person being individually interested in personal finance. I had no idea a person could get so interested, focused and have fun from personal finance matters. I just thought it was a job where people wore suits and sat at a desk and did stuff.

I started listening to her podcast Women and money while on walks with my young daughter in the pushchair. That’s the thing about having a child, especially a girl, a future woman of the world, is that you want to do the right thing, I’ve messed things up before and now I want to get it right. Though it doesn’t happen overnight and in parenting, there’s no ‘right’ way, things are ever-changing and I can feel under pressure to get it right, whatever that looks like. Here’s the thing, the most common thing I hear from podcasters that are mothers too and their children are older, is that they tend to do as you do. Even when I think back now to my family, I did pick up some good habits, fears, and patterns of thinking from my parents. So even though I don’t have every right in a diagram in a textbook, I’m always learning and trying things out for more happiness and success in life.

Suze Orman isn’t a mother and it doesn’t matter, she’s a mum to all of us! Every time I listen to a podcast of hers or watch a video clip, it’s like she’s that loud, truth-telling, no BS friend and I listen. I’d love to write to her in a few years and outline all the financial ways I made my ideal life a reality, for now, I’ll go over what has changed this year, the year I’ve turned thirty!

Also as Suze is a US financial expert I set out to find UK resources and have used them a ton too, scroll down to see the links at the bottom of the page.

My financial back story is that growing up I lived in a wonderful big house in a safe neighborhood, I didn’t see that at the time, it just felt boring, far away from the city of London and I took where we lived for granted. My Dad did his books to track his incomings and outgoings and my mum always kept reminding me not to get a credit card, though she had them in her purse. We shopped at the cheaper supermarkets before it was cool and it irritated me we didn’t get branded stuff, now I see this as a good thing. I also took for granted that just because I lived in a big house, didn’t mean I would end up in a beautiful big house of my own, do I wish someone had straight talked me to see that? Yes but I probably wouldn’t have listened at 10 and been too stubborn at 16. I’m not even sure who gets the house in inheritance, I haven’t asked yet and I’m not holding attachment onto that idea.

I moved out at 17 at the beck and call of ‘If you don’t move in then we’re breaking up’ that should have been the first red flag of a relationship but I was young and naive and what I thought was love, were only sometimes loving acts of someone who fell into depression. The rest was cohesive control and financial abuse. As psychologist Emma Kenny said recently in a live clinic on Twitter ‘That’s the thing about cohesive control, it f***s with your mind and you’re not sure what is and what isn’t control’. Somehow, I became the main bill payer and a fraction of my wage I was able to spend on myself, any money that came in, even birthday money, was gone, it may have been petrol for his car, or help with another bill, still, these little things stand out. I relied on my family to help with any studies I pursued, though no courses I did opened up any options and I wasn’t as self-sufficient as I thought. Most importantly it left no room to save and 9 years later after going through health issues and a personal journey of yoga and meditation I left. I left with all my belongings in my car and turned up to my mum and dad to stay in a spare room. For years I was put off leaving as that option had been blown up as the worst thing I could do, it was a saving grace and thank goodness I could do so.

In 2017 I called it my ‘single year’ though looking back, I could have taken longer and I’d encourage anyone to do so. I like Emma Watson’s term ‘self partnered’ replacing single, it feels so whole and content rather than lacking something or someone. This year I did a yoga training that was on my lips as an affirmation for years and it felt so great to do something I loved, it set me back £250 a month though it taught me the value of money to study. For the first time in my adult life, I was spending less on rent and I had more in my bank account than I knew what to do with. I went through the guilt of spending and eating alone until I found a happy medium.

There’s a common mistake I feel most of us make and that is when we live with parents or relatives, we take for granted that we spend less on bills and rent, then spend anywhere we can. Not always, as we may be studying, paying off debt but in my experience only now am I saving. Younger people, like my brothers two years younger say back to me ‘Yeah, but, er, save for what?’ I wish I could just explain it and I try, some things have to be experienced. That’s why resources like Suze Orman are so valid because she just says it how it is.

Back to the present day, I’ve recently turned 30, my maternity leave has stopped, I’m relying on my husband’s wage who is okayish with money. I have little savings, that has been dipped into and a potential letter from the government saying we owe them benefit money when I did everything I possibly could right in all forms of communication.

This may sound bad, like I’ve got back on the merry go round and I’m back at square one – powerless. Some days even I question it. Though I see a different view, I have more awareness than ever, here’s how Suze Orman’s catchphrases and words of wisdom work in real life:

Do I need it? Can I afford it? – I think as I buy an item, I also write NEEDS out each month on a shopping list and follow it.

Check your statements and call out any confusion – We may not have paper statements anymore much but this bears repeating as I once found I was paying £20 a month for a gym I thought I had canceled. Another time something came up on my statement as a gym 60 miles away, till I realized it’s funny title was a local yoga class – still good to check! One thing I do is keep all bills from one bank account and when recently I noticed it was coming out of another one, I took 3 minutes to switch it, that’s all it took!

People first, then money, then things – I call out to my husband as he lists more things he wants to buy. It reminds me of my value and what I want to bring into life and my daughters, she’s at a young age where she doesn’t ask for trinkets and enjoys everything around her. I use that to an advantage and build up her Junior account that I only touch when I’m getting something really important, like a toy storage unit. I also have a long term saver. There are so many hidden messages in shops to buy buy buy, you just have to see through them.

Be a warrior even when you have fallen – I was listening to a podcast where a woman said she had fallen on hard times and was putting everything into practice and wanted to know what to do next, the response was to continue being that warrior as before! Feeling sorry for yourself and doing nothing won’t cut it, you’ve been there before you can get back there.

Pay off your credit card debt – I did it! This year I paid off my debt, I’ve learned about how interest works and that credit cards work better when you pay it off in full each month.

Listen to yourself first – Other people can get in the way of this, even in a well-meaning caring way. If I had listened to my husband saying don’t pay off your credit card then that £1000 would have been used to buy more stuff, I knew we would get by so I did it and I’m £40 better off each month. Another time I expressed I wanted a long mirror in the bedroom and family said to ‘just buy it off Amazon’ (I’ve come to loathe that phrase, having stopped shopping there almost entirely) and had I listened and thought, ‘Ah yes! It must be brand new’ I would have done that, however, there was a great one no one was using in another room, so I cleaned it and put it up on the wall, it looks great! The same happened with a set of drawers, another mirror, shelves, and a picture frame, all re purposeful in other rooms.

Create an emergency fund – Now, I am nowhere near the 8 month emergency fund line, I’m barely at one but what I did do was set up a high interest savings account that I can’t access from my phone, I have to log in on my laptop the old-style way and it works for me. There were higher interest rates if I set a limit on how many times I could potentially get money out or a notice period to do so, I’m learning about bank accounts and it’s fun! In this account I put a chunk of money I got given for my wedding, it means a lot that I got it at all so I’m not in a rush to spend and it’s something I will build up. Having left a past relationship with nothing, something I never thought would happen to me, I want to be prepared and money can help with that.

It doesn’t even have to be a life-altering thing for it to be included as an emergency fund, some stories from friends include: staying at a hotel after scares of an attempted burglary, losing keys and paying for new locks for a shared house, a husband being hounded for money for a chest freezer his wife bought on loan or the boiler system being replaced. It can be anything and as soon as I pay off my last little loan, this will take priority, small steps.

Sometimes helping is hurting and hurting is helping – This one is a biggy and the other night I truly felt it. Whenever my husband brought up studying he was honest about his bad credit rating and asked me to put it on my name and he will give me the money. Originally I said yes, though through listening to stories on the podcast and a friend’s encounter I changed my mind. That’s so important – you are allowed to change your mind. So one night in bed I told him, I am not putting it on my name as I didn’t feel comfortable in that position and money is low at the moment, it hurt, really hurt both of us though the next day we went to a college offering free courses and who knows maybe not all is lost (or he can work harder at getting his credit score up).

Don’t be in a rush to be poor – So in case you don’t already know, we live with my mother in law, and while it’s great it can also have its downfalls, I would love to be in a position to buy and pay off our own home, this wasn’t in the original plan though like I said before – you can change your mind – and I have. It’s going to take a lot of grit, work, saving and praying to get there and as much as I want it I count my blessings and I’m not in a rush to be poor(er).

Feel your power in your clothes rather than get power from what you buy– Meaning if you (like me) decided to get rid of 90 percent of her wardrobe and stick with the 10 percent we supposedly all wear anyway, you will find joy from looking at the few items you do have and love and get joy from wearing them. Also if I can practice being powerful in my jogging bottoms out of the house, you can too. I like how Suze gets compliments on her $5 jackets because people are so drawn to her power in them, they think they were bought for much more.

It’s only a gift if it’s a gift to give it – This is a tricky one, it plays at my heartstrings a bit, we all want to give though at what price? Struggling in some months, doing so out of obligation and fear? It makes no sense and I don’t play along with it now, I ask is this truly a gift to give it, I ask others what they need or want. I honestly just buy for close family and one or two friends now. I save throughout the year for presents and December rather than experience so much stress at the most wonderful time of the year.

Live below your means and within your needs or just cos you have it, doesn’t mean you have to spend it! The second line I repeated to my best friend while out shopping yesterday, she got it and afterward reflected on how intentional she had been rather than in a flurry of choices and getting home to open a huge bag of stuff she wasn’t entirely satisfied with. This means to live within what you have or below and buy your needs, how many of us live paycheck to paycheck and don’t try anything to change that? I track everything now and while I can’t show stats on that because I’m still in the early stages of a financially independent woman being born, it’s changing things dramatically. Imagine if we all shopped only for actual needs? How refreshing.

It’s not how much money you have it’s what you do with what you have. This always serves as a great reminder a) it’s not about being the most charitable giving being you can, it’s about being responsible with what you have. Also b) I remember these words when the conversation has turned to someones new house with walk in wardrobe and garden view.

This brings me onto Suze Orman’s key to life in an episode on faith: ‘The key to life is to be as happy in your sadness as you are in your happiness’ and the mantra I’ve been repeating:

When one door closes, another door opens!

Suze Orman if you’re reading this, thank you and I’m going to write to the show when I have more goodness to report on, I’m just beginning and have a way to go yet. Together we will rise!

A list of UK money mindful resources to jump into:

Martin Lewis at Moneysavingexpert.com

thesecapeartist.me

Thefrugalcottage.com

Holly at boringmoney.co.uk

Books I’ve read and loved:

Sheconomics

Rich dad poor dad

Do you have take aways that you’ve used in life you can share? Please comment below.

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Personal Finance / Money Mindfulness / Blog

Below my means & within my needs on my 30th birthday

October 29, 2019

I was going to title this post – sitting in Starbucks on my 30th birthday but it was a Waitrose cafe, and this suits much better.

I listen to Suze Orman’s Women and money podcast regularly and one phrase that pops up is:

‘Live below your means and within your needs’.

How? And below your means? What does that mean to be living on the bare minimum I have?

Well, no it means to be living on what you have and not spending just because you have money to spend and buy only what you need. It’s explained in the video below.

Birthday’s bring up past birthdays, there’s an attachment to them of remembering ones from childhood where it was overly celebrated and it felt like MY day, I felt really special and loved. Fast forward to my twenties when I had a big Halloween Party one year and then as the years went on it got less and less. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s brought forward non-attachment to certain days and what we set as expectations.

Anyway back to present day, it’s my 30th birthday and my husband is working, my maternity leave is finished and I’m building up personal savings and money to study too. It’s that time of the month where, as much as I don’t want to say it but it’s running out, at least for spending, food is fine, baby SK essentials are covered, it’s just tight.

It’s so easy on a birthday to go – ‘Oh I’ll get this cos it’s my birthday.’ ‘Oh I’ll treat myself just this day’.

I didn’t do that. I broke the norm on that thought pattern.

I simply did what I could afford to which was use a gift of a shopping voucher to buy an item of clothing (good quality denim) that will last, I went to meeting about becoming self employed with what happened to be the most cheerful man I’ve met in a long time. I forgot my water and got a bottle for 35p, in a cafe I spent £5.75 on a small meal that I could eat while at my laptop enjoying baby-free me time where I edited video footage and made three small videos to upload without me picking up SK to sit on my lap to (not really) ‘help me.’

It felt wonderful to try on clothes, walk through a mall and upload video without interruptions, nappy changes. I felt so in flow I forgot I was in a mall. Things that others do all the time and take for granted.

I’ve also saved £225 birthday money to go towards studying for a career I actually enjoy and make money from, I could have blown that on stuff, like clothes, food, petrol. I am getting more excited about saving than spending like Suze says!

I could have used my travel card to go into central London, I could have bought magazines, I could have eaten a much nicer meal, I could have bought extra beyond the voucher. Then I realised something else, each birthday we think we will remember as this fantastic day, when unless you are whisked away to Mexico or The Galapagos Island, it’s all just stuff. That new dress, that film, that meal, they are just things.

At 26 I wrote 26 things that are transforming my life, inspiring to some though I know in my heart I wasn’t really happy. Then snapshots from turning 28, I was a bit happier then, though still confused about where my journey was actually going (aren’t we all in our twenties). Most recently in which I turn 29 the point I’m making is, unless I wrote about the Frida Kahlo cushion (I still have it, it matches our yellow walls), the broccoli dinner or sightseeing two years ago, I would have struggled to remember.

This isn’t a ‘Ha! Beat the memory game because I like to write about everything’ the point is, it’s another day, enjoy it and live below your means and within your needs.

On a final note I feel it’s no coincidence I found out about Suze Orman at 29, the same age she went from waitress to broker to a huge financial expert in the US.

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Money Mindfulness / Personal Finance