Taranjeet Kaur

Practicing the Sutras in real life 4/5 Understand through compassion or you will misunderstand the times

November 26, 2017

This is part 4 in a 5 part series of exploring the Sutras each Sunday. Click on the links for part one, two and three.

4. Understand through compassion or you will misunderstand the times.

If I were to pick a favourite of what works really well in real life this would be it. You can muse over it as much as you want, to me there are 3 key points.

Before I go into them lets look at the words a bit more, understand through compassion or you will misunderstand the times. So often in life we jump to conclusions, judgements, create stories and let our imaginations or fears run wild, when we stop and listen, get still, to a point of understanding this other persons point of view, you don’t have to agree, you do have to start with understanding though. More things are possible. As time is mentioned too, we also have a tendency for our mind to focus on time, when what will really get us moving towards compassion is through feeling.

We can understand ourselves better when we are compassionate to ourselves. Instead of bashing ourselves on what we just did 5 seconds ago that wasn’t great practice or something we said or did that didn’t align with us soulfully, we can look at it with love and cultivate compassion. Self development says it another way – we wouldn’t talk to another person like that so why should we to ourselves! When you understand your thoughts or doings with compassion you can learn more about yourself instead of spinning a story out of control missing the present moment and feeling misunderstand what’s really happening.

Having compassion for others and I include everyone here, including the people that you don’t connect with or you find annoying, it happens. That’s a hard one to practice. Worth it though.

I’ve been practicing this recently while shopping, as the town is getting busier with people buying gifts, there is less space to move, the energy is different, people seem stressed and the focus is on material things. I was in the mall car park waiting to pay my ticket, when it was my turn I put my ticket in and inserted my card as normal. My card was not recognised as being inserted, I tried again, I tried another card, nothing. ‘Hmm..this is interesting’ I said out loud (notice I didn’t say annoying, or swear, I’m not getting myself into victim or story mode – self compassion). The man in the queue who I saw a few moments earlier glance at his ticket and swear shouted ‘Insert it again’. I said that I have and I’m a bit confused to why it’s not working, that it might happen to others too and got out of the queue. The man, sensing that I wasn’t there to make his day more annoying said ‘Yeah, I accidentally sat on my ticket so I don’t think it will work either’. I smiled and genuinely said ‘Good luck!’ and he replied thanks. That was me sharing compassion for him, we were both going through frustration and could have bounced off each other the stress we felt but didn’t. I went and got my ticket sorted and got £2 off my charge and I didn’t see him again so he must have made it through.

The holiday season is an excellent time to start practicing compassion, not just in the 12 days to Christmas or on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, but now and the whole of next year too!

Through listening to others, noticing how you feel, having compassion comes along with it. You will find you step into compassion rather than reaction and when you do there is more peace and joy than you can imagine!

Think of it as a hug you cannot see but you have put it out there for people.

What ways can you find to understand through compassion this week? Write your experiences or share with a friend, get inspired for change.

Join me back here next Sunday for the final and 5th Sutra of the Aquarian age.

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Meditation and Martha’s mind mapping making sense of anxiety

November 21, 2017

Each morning I do some yoga stretches (although right now I’m 21/40 days in of archer pose, it’s brilliant) and then I sit down and mediate for just over 20 minutes, Sat Nam Wahe Guru. I may mediate at other times of the day though the morning is a special time, it’s quiet, I’m not rushing around getting things done or thinking of my most important tasks of the day, I’m just there, to be.

Although sometimes lately and I’m not sure if it’s because it’s colder now we’re in Winter and this has happened before but each time after meditation I am fired up. My chest is heavy and I’m practically having some sort of heart palpitation movement going on that I can go only control by breathing deeply which I’ve already failed at, for twenty minutes?

This seems a strange thing to admit, after all I am a yoga teacher now, but I’m just being honest and I wanted to share something cool I read too.

In Steering by Starlight, Martha Beck talks about being a naturally nervous person who has dealt with and still does, high anxiety. I’ve known this about her before – I can raise my hand in relation to this!

I used to think and tell people that meditation has made me feel calmer in day to day interactions and activities. It has, especially at work or with family members. It also helps me see the bigger picture, go into problem solving mode serenely and keep faith that everything is working out as it is supposed to, through everything just breathe more.

Then I read this and it made me think more deeply about meditation and yoga:

‘Scholars like Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Gregory Berns and Ellen Langer, who study human happiness, concur that we are most centred and blissful ‘in the zone’, when we’re intensely focused on something that is almost too hard or scary to do’.

Wow.

When I read that I was brought to memories of Kundalini classes that were intense, like doing three minutes of jumping jacks so enthusiastically when everyone else was dropping out that year at the Great British Kundalini festival with Gurmukh. So much of Kundalini pushes you past that limit of your ‘self seeing it as hard’ to show you your self is infinite, there is no limit, only what the mind projects or puts there, that’s the beauty of it.

It also relates to the book Feel the fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers.

Martha goes on to write in the book her experience of being at a brain mapping research facility, when the researchers left her alone with electrodes, she tried a few things out to really see how to bring her anxiety waves down. Firstly she tried the calm observer state she went into in meditation, did that work? – No! From that she noticed another electrical signal went up (theta waves) indicating that she was relaxed but her anxiety was still high.

This is exactly what I was talking about with my own meditation practice, with stress in my body it’s as if I bring things forward like, will I find a parking space today or my car is getting fixed again, not verbally or even thought just felt. Meditation just brings a nice big cushion in the space for those things.

Anyway so on Martha went with her experiment, meditation didn’t work so what next? She began thinking random thoughts, going through memories and looking at her brain waves. Then she noticed a pattern, her anxiety levels dropped when she remembered situations that would fill her with anxiety, such as speaking to large audiences, being in serious physical danger and so on. The more high risk situation imagined, the less anxiety her brain produced! A place beyond fear.

Think about it, when we recall something we were nervous or anxious about and we watch ourselves have accomplishment and victory, we watch ourselves get through that moment and come out fine, isn’t that wonderful? Like the times I used be petrified to drive further out as my instructor showed me a way through fear or when lost while trying to find the way to go at an airport while travelling to Prague, I wanted to cry in despair and crawl home, then walked forward and found an information booth. We went into a space where it was all possible, we felt fear or worry and did it anyway.

Similar to times where all hell has broken loose and yourself or someone beside you is going through that situation and one of you is panicked and the other is totally calm. Like when the cash point swallows your card when in India or you lose your travel card while out and are left with nothing. Leaving one of you shouting ‘How are you SO CALM when you’re usually SO WORRIED all the time?’

This brought me forward full circle to what I was doing in meditation and how I could help myself. Firstly the words I was using give out a big clue, here’s them broken down Sat (true) Nam (name, infinity), Wahe (wow) Guru (guidance from dark to light). So as I sat down breathing and saying these words I didn’t exactly go through memories of the past (as I want to stay present at this time) but as I focus on infinity and the expansiveness of the wondrous Lord Wahe Guru who and by living in the way of, has no fear or hate and is undying. Totally infinite. Doing so I have felt light, my chest pains have lifted and I can get ‘in a blissful zone’. It’s as if my worries are handed over, to pardon the common expression, to Wahe Guru or God.

It takes stillness, practice and patience but when you next meditate, notice subtle changes when you focus on infinity and the place beyond fear. Experiment!

My little meditation area

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Practising the Sutras in real life 3/5 When the time is on you start and the pressure will be off

November 19, 2017

This is number 3 in a 5 part series, go here for the 1st and 2nd Sutra.

3. When the time is on you start and the pressure will be off

This one is bound to make any person go ‘Ahhh, yes’ because they may have already experienced this or read about it in another form. It is so true and reminds me of words I say often ‘Just start where you are, see how you go’. It has to do with flow to, when you start something, even this blog post for example, I get in a flow of writing, feel in my rhythm and one post will lead to a whole idea of posts which will lead to ticking off other tasks that I saw as obstacles but are now in the ‘done’ pile.

It means going for it, starting anyway despite words from your inner critic, when everything seems time bound and deadline driven you come back to the moment, the now, it’s all you have anyway.

Stephan Pressfield author of The Work, writes about slaying the dragon of resistance while it’s small, I like that image because what you resist persists.

‘Don’t think. Act
Once we commit to action, the worst thing we can do is stop.
What will keep us from stopping? Plain old stubbornness.
We’re in till the finish.’ – Do The Work quotes

Similarly the saying ‘Eat the frog first’ a book of the name by Brian Tracey applies here, it’s meaning is to take action on the thing you least want to do, even if it’s the most or least important, to take action on that, get it off your plate and move onto other tasks.

When the time is on you start and the pressure will be off is something I think to myself when faced with a small task, Alice Fulks has a good story here or a much bigger task because I have to start somewhere. I also think it when making travel plans as things can go from daunting to organised. Also when it comes to goals to as one small action can send ripples to the next and so on and so on.

I’ve said this to friends in the past whether they want to hear it or not to get a bigger perspective on whatever happening and it’s as if there is a hand of guidance or window of possibility has opened up to them.

I think this mantra can go a little deeper too, that even if the action you are taking feels small or even pointless to where you want to be or do in the future, it’s still action you are still in motion, keeping it moving. You’re one step ahead than if you hadn’t of stepped at all.

Try it this week, recite the mantra, really let it in. Journal your experience, write it at the top of your to do list or discuss with others.

When your mind thinks about time or you feel overwhelmed, start with one thing you can do, start and feel the pressure fall and yourself in flow.

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Practicing the 5 Aquarian Sutras in real life 2/5 There is a way through every block

November 12, 2017

This is number two in a five part series, for information on the Sutras and to start at 1, go here.

There is a way through every block. Huh? What? Every block? Yes there is. Here’s how I apply this to life and know it works practically.

When I’m faced with a situation where it seems all the circumstances have turned against me such as something hasn’t come on time, my travel route has changed last minute, funds are not as high as I would like, people have cancelled, I turn to this.

When I’m feeling nervous or some anxiety at a self made block I go over this. It makes it quicker to identify blocks too, until I started Kundalini yoga I didn’t even see my ‘self made blocks’. They can be defined as a limitation put on yourself by yourself without any conscious knowing until you listen to that thought ‘I can’t do….I can’t get….I’m afraid to…..I’m worried that…It isn’t usual for me to….’ And recognise- there’s my self made block! I used to have many, I still have some. I find that 40 day practices really help with this especially if you track your progress, keep a journal or photo album of that time.

Blocks I come across many times are going to new places and doing new things, especially if there’s driving involved! Imagine if I had never of broken through a few driving blocks recently I wouldn’t have built two new pieces of furniture, picked up scripture from a friend, listened to an interesting talk in English or gone to get new glasses! I would have never had the learning of when the carparks were less busy or taken the opportunity before the Christmas rush or seen that myself driving in London was actually completely doable . Ultimately I would have kept my experiences small had I taken on ‘I can’t drive there because I’ve never done it before’ or ‘I can’t drive there as the car park will be busy and I won’t be able to park’.

These are self made blocks and sometimes take a little reflection to look over self limitations.

There is a way through every block reminds me of the Yogi Bhajan quote – ‘I don’t believe in miracles I rely on them’.

I used this regularly while doing my yoga training, in the Summer as it seemed near impossible to meet up with people. Just when I thought things wouldn’t happen, I’d stop and surrender and think the above quote then suddenly our plans were on! This happened with a night out with girlfriends and the day before a friends Anand Karaj (wedding).

It brings about positivity, possibility and opens you up to a way being found with minimal effort. Similar to the saying ‘Where there’s a will theres a way’.

A mantra in Kundalini yoga that works to dissolved blocks is Aad Such Jugaad Such, Hai Bhai Such Nanak Hosee Bhai Such, find out more here.

You can go deeper with this, and some do in saying ‘Let Wahe Guru lead the way, it is all his will’. Wahe meaning wondrous and Guru meaning being led from darkness to light. Whatever faith or name you give for God/the Universe/Divine it’s all an act of surrender, stillness and from there an answer will come or be shown to you.

‘Surrender is an active participation with the flow of the Universe.

‘Obstacles’ appear as conflicts in our lives because we are in duality. When we let go of duality, we let go of drama. Surrender brings with it a great sense of relief because it frees up our inner resources to ride the wave fully and get to where we want to go. Fast.’ –Savitree Kaur

It’s a good mantra to have while working either on your own projects or in your day job because we can be faced with ‘problems’ at any time. It opens up a channel to trust and know that there is a way through every block and no one else will see you through to success, but you. See how other empowering skills come to play here – trust, faith, self reliance, responsibility, being in a flow. They all start here, right where you are.

Try it for this week, when you feel the world is against you or there’s a hiccup in your plans. Even when things on the outside are going well, how you feel internally may not match up, it’s up to you to see yourself through. You can journal about your experiences and share some light in your stories or connect with others in how they have got through things they once saw as blocks.

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A simple way to elevate your personal morning practice

November 6, 2017

My morning Sadhana (or practice) getting up early before the sun rises is a little mixed at the moment, somethings stay the same while others alter depending on how much time I actually have. Though I will mention it includes some Sikhi, Kundalini, affirmations, visualisations and writing in my gratitude journal while drinking hot lemon water to start my day.

I have found the most beneficial thing has been to use my phone to the minimum I can. It’s obvious and yet super powerful in practice.

I can easily at the click of a button go to a group chat message from the night before I’ve missed or a Facebook message someone sent me very early in the morning, or go to Instagram and see the likes I have on a post. That is all to easy. We do that all the time throughout the day and our attention goes off into different directions when what is really useful is focus and to the ability to connect with infinity not technology. The good news is if you practice this first thing in the morning consistently you may start to implement it at times throughout your day such as before sleeping.

It’s about setting personal boundaries. Just as I wouldn’t have a full blown conversation with someone before 5am (with the exception of being on my teacher training, I was excited to be there amongst other human beings into yoga!) I wouldn’t just casually have a conversation on my phone, direct or indirectly.

I’m not saying turn your phone off (especially if like me you may get a call from work) but if no one will contact you in the early hours, thats what do not disturb or flight mode is for. Also mute those Whats App groups for 8 hours or more.

This breaks it down to using my phone for:

Music recording/speak along to
A timer
Hukunama
Yogi Bhajan quote of the day

That’s it.

And if you feel your busy mind is not ready for that, even if it’s not a person your going to talk to but you have something you really feel to remember or inspiration for a project, keep a notebook nearby, call it meditation notes if you like!

When I’m dressed and making breakfast, then I look at the weather, train times, Instagram, messages and so on.

It says – Sadhana is my time, away from the worldly goings on, just to be.

A sadhana is a personal practice which becomes a self serving habit and discipline so why not include the discipline to be present in the moment too. Without distractions, you will find you’ll become more still and your intuition will guide you to what’s important and needed anyway.

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Practicing the 5 Aquarian Sutras in real life 1/5 Recognise the other person is you

November 5, 2017

Yogi Bhajan, Master of Kundalini Yoga and the man who brought Kundalini to the Western world in 1968 shared 5 principles of the Aqaurian Age. They are simple and easily applied to life in any situation you find yourself in and are just as deep and powerful too. Sutra means knot and the Aqaurian age is the time we are now in.

Over the next two weeks I will be going through each Sutra. I could of course post it in one but where’s the fun and feeling in that?

I came across a free postcard at my first white tantric one year that had all of the sutras on it. I wanted to remember them and practice them off the mat too so I put it beside my mirror in the bathroom and looked over at them as I brushed my teeth. Such a simple yet great way to involve yoga in life. They are also non invasive, I put them in the bathroom for anyone to see to possibly get something from without coming across as pushy or invading the space with ’spiritual stuff’. Now, whenever I feel to call on some yogic or spiritual wisdom, I think of a Sutra, choose one that applies with what’s happening or what I’m doing and everything becomes much easier or I see light in a situation. Works every time.

Let’s start at 1 – Recognise the other person is you

Just let that sink in. What is you mind telling you? Is it agreeing with compassion and joy or trying to wiggle out of it and resist the idea completely?

STOP and reflect – Recognise the other person is you, mentally go over your thoughts or write them down.

When you break it down, recognise the other person is you has a deep whole meaning and can be taken into several situations.

Recognise the other person is you overall means to recognise that we are all the same. We love the same, fear the same, breathe the same, start again the same. We are all people. We are more connected than separated, in fact we can tear down the barriers between us right now.

See that other person as a mirror of you, that person is simply a reflection of you. They are helping you grow, learn, look at qualities embodied and can make them physical.

This sutra reminds me of The Golden Rule: Treat others who you want to be treated, though I believe goes deeper. The Golden Rule is great on an outer physical level but the first Sutra Recognise the other person is you is an inside to outside job.

It also serves as a good reminder in being non judgemental as it is only yourself you are judging anyway! I notice this all the time, as before I started Yoga and then started practising Sikhi, my life was very different. When I see a person drinking alcohol on the streets or on the train, shouting down the phone in the streets, going out in full make up with not many clothes on – I can’t judge them, because that has been me! If I judge them, I am only judging a past version of myself. That’s just silly.

It’s a great Sutra to practice when talking with someone, even if that someone has annoyed you to the core. Why? Because it brings stillness, you slow your breath, you listen, give them your attention and can better communicate consciously as after all, it’s all you!

Recognise the other person is you – you are connected, that other person will mirror anything you do/don’t want to see of yourself and you’ll learn more, as you learn you will also come to see that you can walk away from any moment thinking – wow that person is a great teacher, that was a useful lesson.

Try it this week, make it your personal mantra – at home, in the shopping mall, on the bus, in a taxi, with your boss and so on. You can write your experiences in a journal or make interesting conversation. For other stories and a deeper look at the 1st Sutra check out this video.

Check back each Sunday for more in this series of the 5 Sutras of the Aquarian age!

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40 Days Complete Surya Kriya highlights and habits

September 21, 2017

I have finished 40 days of Surya Kriya! I chose this Kriya at the start of August as the weather was getting gloomy, as in the sun was no longer warm and made an short appearance before going behind the clouds, in out in out.

Surya – sun, I wanted to cultivate the feeling of sun energy for 40 days and be energetic, expressive and enthusiastic! The brief also says it makes a person clear, analytic and action orientated. The exercises stimulate the positive panic force and kundalini energy itself. As regular sadhana practice it can build the strength of your body and the ability to focus on many tasks.

I’ve really enjoyed Surya Kriya, I think it did brighten up my morning and sometimes whole day. It’s a great ‘tidy’ kriya, as in you don’t need much space and it includes regular exercises such as Sat Kriya and Frogs. I did it along with music for a few days then decided to do without as I feel I didn’t need it. That’s a common thing now with my Sadhana, in the morning I like the quiet, it quietens my mind, I only used music for relaxation after.

The only thing I noticed by the end of my time doing this Kriya is that I missed doing more upbeat leg and arm work. As most of it is done sitting down. While doing this kriya plenty of times I’ve been told have told me how calm and laid back I seem, light hearted and like nothing can annoy or worry me (I assure you I am only human!) It did give me a great start to my day.

So 40 days has gone by, what have I got up to… here’s the pictures in summary:

Highlights of 40 Days Surya Kriya

40 Days of Surya Kriya Highlights:

*I went to a nearby Vegan Fest nearby and went to a foot massage workshop, chatted with my friend Happy over delicious Vegan cheese cake, went to a Cacao ceremony and Gong bath (interesting, combining both one after another not such a good idea).

*I started teaching Kundalini yoga at home! I’ve been really enjoying it, the whole process from idea, plan, practice, prepare the room is all new but I’m starting where I am and doing donations while training.

*I made some new friends who are Sikhi/Sikh and have been hanging out with them. One in particular helped me break through some barriers I was unsure I would ever break down, we had fun and has made me re evaluate my values and goals for this year.

* I’ve been socialising with friends and eating out more, shopping and generally having a lovely time, all my friends teach me in unique ways and I feel I can be myself fully.

* I went to a Khalsa Camp (Sikhi) in Wales and had a wonderful time! I drove 180 miles, the Severn Bridge is magnificent and I learnt a lot and connected with so many people. I have since started including more Gurbani into my morning and evening practices. I’ve posted a photo journal here.

* I have been art journaling in the mornings if only for 10 minutes a day, just to play around with paint or while watching videos and ended up finishing two pages. I also finally bought and used some paint to carry on the lotus flower on canvas.

* Someone in my family passed, and while it was sad it was coming for over a year and they were deeply unhappy and unwell. With the news my household felt much lighter, like it had just taken a big breath out and the funeral was like a family reunion that wouldn’t of come together otherwise.

Teaching Kundalini first classes

First class was Kriya for Kidneys, just my mat, an orchid, candle and music

Books Read:

* Eight Human Talents by Gurmukh – a great read through the Chakras with her personal stories and quotes mixed in, quick meditations and I did the Kriya at the end of the book while at Wilderness festival. I took the book in my handbag everywhere 7/10

* Heros, Saints and Yogis – An ok book on Sikh dharma written by Kundalini practitioners practicing Sikhi. It has some stories I had never heard of before and explains some common phrases, prayers and ceremonies which are helpful for beginners. 4/10

Top quotes I saved:

* Peace is found on the inside, where have you been looking – Byron Katie

* The meaning you put on someones action’s is what hurts you – Byron Katie

* Enthusiasm and inspiration are your authority – Guru Singh

*If you want to change you have to be willing to be uncomfortable

*Consciousness is your best friend and soul is your only strength. Project your soul – Yogi Bhajan

*Read like your hair is on fire – Patti Digh

*A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not on the branch but on it’s own wings. Always believe in yourself.

Last few days:

A Change/New habit: I’m feeling lighter about love and life, I felt proactive in deleting and organising a messaging app to serve me and not feel like a slave to it, a small thing but with big change.
Magic: Day 39 & 40 I was helped along with the last two days by a friend on my course as she offered to do Surya Kriya in a class she was teaching as she also liked it! I am so grateful as after sadhana and a class I needed a push to do that Kriya on top as we had done so much yoga.
Miracle: There was no outside miracle as such but I did some inner work, self enquiry with Byron Katie (author) technique, 4 questions and a turn around and got: * As I feel love for myself it’s possible to feel and be in love and have a happy relationship with someone else. * I’m not interested in short term. I’m interested in long term sharing love, joy, fun and making a family with a future husband.

This quote was said on the last day of yoga training for September which happened to be Day 40 and we had been learning about the yogic point of view on relationships:

‘You have to do one thing first. If you do not accept your own dignity as a woman all external trappings shall mean nothing. It has nothing at all to do with any man or relationship. Once you accept your own dignity, the whole world will come to you.’ – Yogi Bhajan

Promise to myself

So what now? Well I’m not doing another 40 days coming up as I’m focusing on revision for the test coming up next month and I’m preparing to teach a class at the last training which I may offer at home too. For morning Sadhana I’m doing Nabhi Kriya for Prana Apana as I miss Nabhi Kriya though I’m not going to go a full 40 days or 90 days into it till after my training.

The kriya I’m doing now focuses on third chakra (navel) and the heart chakra, action/balance and love/compassion. I’m also doing the longer Kirtan Kriya in the evening too before bed as interestingly Sat Kriya (included in Surya Kriya) balances sexual energies and is good for males. Kirtan Kriya is balancing for women and good for memory – all just what I need right now!

‘Stop getting distracted by things that have nothing to do with your goals.’ – Marilyn Fontaine

I really like the quote above, it’s so fitting for now when I’m cramming in yoga studies as I quickly check with myself – Is this serving me at the moment in learning Kundalini yoga?

Also a funny picture I’m reminded of from the book The one thing by Gary Keller is a piece of paper he stuck in his office with the words – Until my one thing is done everything else is a distraction!

So true, I’m back to old school revision – printing out papers, highlighting words, sticking papers on the walls of my room, the bath room, kitchen, taking my notes to cafes, to dinner – everywhere.

So until then I’m taking a break from blogging and I’ll be back with a better laid out website and plans for the rest of 2017!

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40 Days Complete – Kriya for awakening the ten bodies

August 10, 2017

This last 40 days… I have been doing Awakening to the ten bodies and Laya meditation and it has been really interesting! A fairly upbeat movement Kriya, mostly arm work though of course there are some frogs thrown in there! Even the next Kriya I’ve started has frogs, wow what was life like before when I didn’t begin my day with them?!

The Ten Bodies are: Soul Body, Negative Mind, Positive Mind, Neutral Mind, Physical Body, Arc Line, Auric Body, Pranic Body, Subtle Body, Radiant Body.

When we use all these bodies and have them in balance we too will find more balance, so what have I got up to in 40 days? What wisdom have I gathered? Challenges faced and habits changed?

40 Days tracker

Well, I don’t have the usual collage of photos or a detailed write up. I have been reading 8 Human Talents by Gurmukh, I like how she writes from her story and experience, adds student’s stories and warm ups and meditations throughout the book. That book is definitely my Summer Kundalini read, what a teacher, what a woman.

This Kriya feels like it opened up a space to trust and truth tell – three times over.

Firstly: I told someone how I felt about them, they did not share the same feeling but wished me well. I felt down and I don’t usually feel the need to reach for ice cream but then I did. The day after I had the most horrible crushing indigestion (I used to suffer badly with it, as a teenager) so I crawled to the pharmacy for some tablets and managed to swallow down foods when invited by my mum to eat at my most favourite cafe. The days following the indigestion went and so did my on off chest pain that I’ve had all year. All gone.

Secondly: You know those friends who message you constantly inviting you to things that sort of fit on your spiritual path but not really, or not enough? That don’t know you well enough to know that you carve your own path? Well before I ignored, thanked politely and just allowed my message count to go up (there seems to be a trend where everyone is sending links to something on Whats app). Then I said my truth, we are all still friends and all is well, my inbox is less cluttered too.

Thirdly: I found the space and not stress to open up more and meet with a new person in my life. I never used to be a person to ask people out to stuff and some how (who are we kidding it’s Kundalini yoga) I’m now someone who asks first.

Reading Rathayatra

It was at the end of Kriya for Awakening to the ten bodies where the subtle truth telling occurred. Also I was volunteering for a Hari Krishna festival in the town centre making flower garlands where I met a new friend and something magical happened, then later at the festival (where I was supposedly handing out free fruit) met another new friend too.

I was looking through my journal at the end date – Wednesday 2nd August, when I noticed on my calendar that I had booked myself in for Henna on Day 40 and that the 3rd I was setting off for Wilderness Festival. Perfect timing that I didn’t even plan. Why plan anymore, just allow things to happen, to come!

Henna by Nadia in Reading

My time getting Henna was wonderfully relaxing, my treat to myself and much like someone going to a hairdresser except a pretty pattern on my hands (though I don’t recommend getting it done on a rainy day, or when using your hands to pack camping stuff). I packed all my stuff for Wilderness, a festival with music, art and a lake in Oxford, my first ever, that I was soloing too.

I looked at all my stuff, that me, one person was to carry, this is crazy, what am I doing? Living.

Soloing Oxford bound….

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What Sadhana by the lake taught me

July 24, 2017

While at The World Yoga Festival in Reading this year, I did a Sadhana by the lake each day. That’s one thing that really stood out to me that though it was a yoga festival, as it wasn’t a Kundalini festival I could do more of what I wanted, there was more free time.

I got up around 4.30am each day and went to the lake to do Awakening to the ten bodies Kriya. Afterwards I went back to sleep for an hour or so as it was early it was quieter than when I’d tried to get to sleep the nights before with loud music playing from the stage tent.

While I enjoy being led through a Sadhana by someone, I really like doing my own practice too. Usually with this Kriya I have some music going, it’s quiet energetic and I sometimes need that boost first thing in the morning. At the lake I had none, just the breeze blowing and birds chirping. Though while it was dark I noticed the ducks were still sleeping, all huddled together in a big group, sweet.

Nature will keep me up.

Another thing I became very aware of while by the lake was that while doing the movements I became attached to my tent, I had left my temporary home and my mind became instead of still – scattered. Where was my Kara bracelet I had taken off for a millisecond while putting on sun lotion? Where was my journal, bag 1 or bag 2? It felt endless.

I became more aware of my breath and wondered what was the most truest thing I could bring forth? Where was the Sat Nam in all this? Forget my tent, forget items, what was most true now?

The only thing that is true is that I am present now. That’s what I have to give to myself – to be fully present.

In thinking that there was no conflict, only truth. AND I found that afterwards, even hours after, I was still vibrating internally the mantra from meditation ‘Ek ong Kar, Sat Nam, Siri Wahe, Hay Guru’. That was the first time that has happened in this Kriya, for a while actually and usually after a class.

I continued to do Sadhana with no music for two weeks after the festival then experimented with electronic mantra music from Feather and Dot. Their Guru Ram Das remix is such fun while doing frogs, on day 31 I even managed the 54!

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20/40 days: Change up of routines

July 21, 2017

Twenty days into my 40 day Kriya Awakening to the ten bodies, one change is standing out to me. That is my new found ability to be more flexible and I don’t mean bodily, I’m talking about with time, with what I really want to do, in the time I have free, sometimes two things on the same day.

A week before my yoga training I saw that a Kirtan band Kamari and Manvir were playing 20 minutes away from where I’m now living on the same night as I would be driving near London to go to my teacher training. They were playing at another Kundalini teacher training school so I wouldn’t know anybody but I would be there, even listening to a few tunes lit me up.

It wasn’t as if I hadn’t heard them before, they had sung and played the first year I went to the Great British Kundalini Festival though back then I didn’t know who they were. I spoke to Kamari, she was wearing a pink turban and I told her how great their music was and that I liked her pretty earrings, she was as graceful as she had been singing. Since then I listen to them a lot especially their upbeat songs while I’m in the car or getting ready, to see them live seemed like an opportunity not to miss (though they do usually play at New Years too).

So for a week I tried to work out how I could get there and make it to and all the way through a 5am Sadhana the next day. And was it worth the money (£26 for a few songs)? After finally paying the tickets, no going back now! I decided to go then come home then leave at 3.30am to get to my training at 4.30am and be in time for Sadhana, ah lovely. Then during the day I started packing and tidying my room as if I wasn’t coming back for a few days, like I do before my training days, my body was obviously saying something different. Also while living at home, going away for a few days away from family is bliss, I feel more free and independent.

Yogic Underwear from Ananda Kanda

I changed into my ‘yogic underwear’ (such a fabulous name for a white all in one) from Ananda Kanda, heals and earrings, everything matched and everything was packed – I felt wonderful.

Doing something different out of my usual pattern of driving to see other people before training, was like giving a gift to myself. Driving to me being me. It shows a level of commitment to a new plan, getting out of a comfort zone and being laid back that travel plans are different but do able.

I got to the Ufton Court grounds around 7pm and it has to be the first time I’ve ever taken my heels off before the night rather than the end of it. People were laid back, obviously been camping or staying in the big house. No make up, baggy pants and pizza. Yes pizza, I walked in, smiled and sat on a bench near a pizza oven, over dressed and over excited. With no idea if I was getting any pizza.

A sweet Yogi Bhajan painting and raw chocolates (my heels off already in the backgorund).

It’s funny how reserved some people can be, even though they do the same yoga as you, with the same values – recognise the other person is you, to be healthy, happy, holy. Also with the same knowledge that white is worn and it reflects the other person, some people see you as a light, others just stare as if your on their territory.

Maybe it’s a lesson to me also to engage with more people even though the vibes are firmly grounded and not elevated. Maybe in those moments that was my job, to elevate. Anyway some people were darling and came over to small talk, two people offered me pizza – hooray! One non vegan the other raw vegan – millet with lime, saukrought and mushroom, both delicious. Why I make curry before I go to these events I will never know.

I sat and waited, it being a Yogic event it started later but I was able to dance to Jai Maa Durga, Wahe Guru Wahe Jio and Ong Namo Shivaya from Mantra Evolution and a few others from an album Kamari and Manvir are releasing soon in France. I can only assume they mean at the 3ho France festival, I will go to that sometime, next year – France and India are my must dos.

Kamari and Manvir singing and playing great Kirtan music.

I danced freely and wildly on a patch of grass with other people I didn’t know but were also smiling, some people looked as if they were in total joy, love, acceptance and moved their body so freely and fluidly. I knew I wasn’t there long so just kept taking in the experience, taking some Polaroids and checking my phone for the time.

It got to 8.45 pm and I just had to go, if it didn’t take over an hour to get to my next destination I would have stayed longer, despite feeling odd not knowing anyone there I was also happy as it’s often that way.

I drove out as the sun was setting, I was going from countryside to main roads and the fields with the sun setting looked so stunning I stopped and took a photo. Maybe this was the reason I came, to see this beautiful sunset. I drove on listening to songs from Mantra Evolution before I had even seen if my Polaroid had developed well and got to the motorway, my Satnav saying ‘Continue on the M4 for 28 miles’ the roads almost empty meant I could go at regular speed instead of being stuck behind a queue – ‘Wahooo’ I shouted to myself and had a stress free journey to my destination that I reached in just enough light to not miss the turning.

Fellow dancers, a grassy dance floor I had to say goodbye to.

The next morning I awoke at 4.15, was reunited with friends from the course and got through the 2 and half hour Sadhana (despite the coaco chocolate and mantra music giving me insomnia). I sang along to the beautiful mantras and tabla beats from Chardi Kala Jetha, anything slower would have set me to sleep but the upbeat, cheerfulness and feelings of being in a Gurdwara kept me up!

I walked to the garden area later that morning and sat and journaled.

It all worked, even when I thought it may not and was using it as an excuse not to do something I wanted to do. Real yogi learning comes in real life experience, that’s why I want to share it so much in the real world.

Spontaneous plan done and Sadhanas finished!

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