meditation

On the 18th April 2020 I had finished doing a breath awareness meditation each morning (I didn’t record it, though it was wonderful and gave me a lot of peace each morning). I wanted something new, something that I could do in my unpredictable waking schedule of a one-year-old baby in the same room. 

I made a mala in the very early stages of pregnancy, so much was going on hormonally and I couldn’t focus so I learned to make Malas. I bought a strong thread, rose pink beads and mother of pearl, and put a knot between each bead. That way it was easier to feel for each one and stronger in the long run too. My mala may look fancy and if I was to wear it out would seem like it’s for fashion purpose, it’s not, it is a prop to help me to meditate when I feel like I don’t have time or my motivation is low. Seeing it hanging in my room is a great reminder to just do it, go meditate, if only for 10-30 minutes. 

I used the pink mala while doing 40 Days till a friend gave me a plain wooden one she had never used, the beads are bigger, it’s simple and served me well. I even used a counter she made me that shows how many rounds you’ve done if it’s a shorter mantra. 

Each morning I went to my mat and sat and breathed for 3-25 minutes, to ground myself and immerse myself in silence, I find there is a lot of noise in my days. I used my mala, thumb, and index finger moving the Guru bead and tassel away from myself and chanted Waheguru for 108 repetitions. 

Wahe = Wow, wondrous, in the here and now Guru = that which guides us from darkness to lightness, teacher, infinite 

As it is a short mantra, you can do Sat Nam, Wahe Guru too, I did 4 rounds in 15 minutes. 

Simran this way allows you to get on and do it with no excuses like ‘I don’t have time’ ‘I don’t feel connected enough’ ‘I can’t think of a good tune’. It gives purpose and energetic charge to your mala and if your a busy person or someone who often it feels like you’re not finishing things like you want to, it fulfills that when you do a complete round. 

As well as a mantra I set myself a personal goal – to create and sell an E-Course in 40 Days (Leonie Dawson course, of course!) I completed that too, it turned into a website overhaul to makeover and it took a lot of energy, nap times, late nights till finally it was done. Learn more about the Beginners Kundalini Yoga course here. 

I didn’t track my days as I used to, I feel it makes me too focused on the reporting and less on the living, though I will be for my next 90 Days (Day 8 as of writing this). 

Things I did within 40 Days:

• Covid-19 was in full swing with lockdown and outdoor exercise limited to once a day by the Government. 
• I recorded all course videos in a swoop of 1 week. 
• I used ProCreate on my iPad to draw yoga postures. 
• I used some in my free course Top 5 Yoga Tools.
• I had a photoshoot in my new black with white flowers formal dress.
• I spent Sunday’s chilling mostly and learning about human behavior aka Cults.
• We went to green spaces as a family. 
• Sunny days meant baby water play.
• I met up with a friend for a lock down picnic.
• I reached out to students for testimonies for my website. 
• I had a spontaneous sunrise photoshoot with Anna from Prana Space and Laura Zotorva 
• I tried out sunset photography and the warm glow gives an uplifting vibe to my pages. 
• We explored a ‘secret’ woods and lake that not many locals know about. 
• I did Carolyn Cowan’s yoga series on addiction on Vimeo late night and early morning – amazing!
• I listened to my body that too much Navel work after a baby (even a year on) is extremely painful the day after. 
• I started reading The Darkside of light Chasers why Debbie Ford – a great book with exercises. 
• I did Pilates with Rinky, the live classes.
• I saw my Nannie as the lockdown was easing, she had her 95th birthday and Neoumonia at the same time. 

A change: I tried out coloured pens and paint again in my journal, I even took then out to the woods, it felt right to journal this way again. I photographed my Art journal pages, revisited old videos, and was overcome with how much creativity was a gift through turbulent times. I had put a downer on them when they were a gift and I can make art again. 

A shift: I felt a sudden wake up of ‘I can see now’ when I thought of past and preset patterns. I read this honest blog post on red flags. I internally freaked. I wasn’t sure where to go with this new found vision, to panic, to fear, to prepare myself? I spent a lot of time reflecting and speaking with friends honestly. I’ve taken on the advice to ‘surrender’ instead of calling out JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW. To lose the grip of control and be present, be fully myself, and see what comes. 

Magic/Miracle: The act of getting to my mat each day and baby SK being asleep mostly the whole time. That and all the time and energy in creating this website and my new Beginners Course! 

Overall this type of meditation made me feel more still within myself, opened the door back up to daily Simran and starting to own all part of myself.

What’s next: I’m a few days into another mala meditation, this time it’s the Mul Mantra, a longer mantra is a Bij (seed) mantra, each word has a unique meaning and it’s where I started from in Kundalini Yoga morning Sadhanas and before being blessed with Amrit Sanchar. Excited to do for a longer period of 90 days – till the 26 August 2020.