This is not a mum blog but the ‘me’ before and after baby may overlap a little. 

I really respect privacy and that includes our little girl’s. I may be viewed as ‘too serious’ or ‘protective’ but before baby I always wondered what those children would think or say, seeing a backlog of their life online or in articles. Would it feel invading? Embarrassing? Pleasing? 

I also like this little space I’ve crafted to write about whatever I want to! To talk about what truly matters to me – is my new podcast tagline I’m adding content to.

Our little S is almost three weeks old and already life has changed so much. I used to: have 7 hours sleep, wake up early, meditate and make plans as I went. I used to write and put a post out same day! I’ve added to my birthing story so many times.

Now I recognise lower expectations and small victories go a long way. I see why other mums write ‘you’ll never procrastinate again’ or to ‘use the hour you have to do the most amount of work in’. 

At this early stage napping, eating and drinking are the most important. A ripple effect can happen, either positive or negative. If all those are in sync you’re in wonder at this beautiful tiny human you both created and life flows. 

Out of sync and you don’t get your afternoon nap, you forget to eat, you end up in a crying heap in the bedroom, you make demands that certain things in the home must change. Also if your breastfeeding, baby picks up on all of those ques, like a 6th sense and is not happy and doesn’t sleep either.

I bought myself the book Self-care for new mums and instead of buying for a friend’s baby boy, I bought her that book too. It’s something you can just flick through, the smoothie recipes saved the day some days and it’s not just about baby, the care of the mother can easily get missed. 

Similarly, the rule in support work is you can’t support another person if you don’t take good care of yourself, through eating, regular breaks. 

I’ve noticed how much of a consumer I’ve become. Not of fatty foods or TV or online shopping, of taking in information from blogs, podcasts, YouTube and general talk. 

It’s a shift because I know that I am a creator more than I am a consumer.

 It’s great my mind is engaged again in something but I can’t help but want to do more. 

I am a creator.

With baby S attached to my breast, there’s little I can do but use my eyes and ears. My fingers can type but I’m tired, so tired and I won’t even admit it till reflecting back, as these moments are beautiful too and sometimes I just stare at her. 

That’s the incredible thing about parenthood, you can have a night of constantly getting up to change nappies and feed, eyes tired, lights down the lowest you can manage so maybe it helps the baby get to sleep and you just think ‘Wow, you are amazing!’ That’s the power of love. 

So I want any readers to know I’m still here, walking the long crooked path. 

And today this post is my private victory!